My cat was my knight in shining armor.
He was the beacon of light guiding me home after grueling, miserable days. He would cling to you when you were upset, never wavering, even when you thought you wanted him to. He would be by your side no matter how badly you thought you needed to be alone. When I had nightmares and woke up in fear, he was right beside my face; he knew that I was devastated, even while asleep.
He was loud, he meowed all the time for attention. For all these traits we deemed him annoying- now that he's gone I realize that made him perfect.
I am not good with social interaction. I over think and tend to keep my mouth closed while people discuss. I never had to worry about saying the wrong thing, being too quiet or loud, he was non-judgmental, unconditional; he was my family.
In trade, I was to be his protector. His shield from the evils outside his comfortable world. He always had a chair he would sleep on outside. I trusted him out there. He was my baby, he would stay forever.
Unfortunately forever ended faster than I could imagine. after 3 years with my baby, he was gone. He was in his favourite chair one moment, and the next moment I was receiving a call that he was gone.
I failed him. I failed my forever companion. I was not the protector I needed to be. His last moments were not in my arms, they were alone on cold concrete. I let this happen. I let him pass alone.
My only hope is that he is in a better place, where one day I can take care of him the way I should've. For now I look at his empty space on the chair, his favourite pillow, and listen to the disturbing quiet my house has attained. All I can do is miss you, and love you, and hope that in some twisted way, that you know I do.
Dedicated to my best friend and silent confidante,
Jasper
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