36 Things That Will Always Happen At A Comic Convention

    You will become eater-of-Haribo, devourer-of-undercooked-pizzas.

    1. The train to the convention centre will be a humbling experience.

    2. The line to get in will be swear-to-god longer than your whole life up until this point.

    3. But the queues will not be your regular civilian queues.

    4. There will be someone wearing a T-shirt advertising "free hugs".

    5. You will overhear someone pretending they don't want to be here.

    6. You will get so excited once you finally get in that you will buy something huge you have to carry around all day.

    7. If you can't see a person of authority, authority will default to whoever came dressed as the person with the most authority.

    8. You'll go "Hey, where did all the comics go?" and find them in some marginalised room near the toilets.

    9. You will see a comic you destroyed as a kid hanging in a sealed bag with a price tag that has several zeros on it.

    10. You will try to survive on Haribo.

    11. You will miss out on meeting your goddamn personal hero because you were away getting a goddamn pretzel.

    12. You will sit beside a man hastily and noisily sewing the last bits of his costume together during a panel.

    13. An actor who played a minor role in a big film will suffer public heartbreak on stage.

    14. Someone will ask a question at a Q&A that's actually just a long story about themselves and the answer will be silence.

    15. A panel will be cancelled because it didn't have enough women in it, and the man who called for it to be cancelled will think he is Jesus.

    16. There will be a lot of this.

    17. And a lot of that.

    18. Some of this.

    19. There'll be at least five of these.

    20. This guy won't take off his coat when he gets inside.

    21. Weekend pass = more than one costume.

    22. Day pass = less than one costume.

    23. There will be many Leias. ~Like an onion~

    24. There will be a tiny Darth Vader.

    25. You'll see entire families in cosplay.

    26. You will regret your footwear.

    27. You'll miss a lot of the stuff you wanted to see because you'll be in an alleyway taking important photographs.

    28. You will be invited to a room party that smells weird.

    29. The second day of your weekend pass will basically be a write-off because of hangovers.

    30. Two cartoonists will get into what we assume is a fight.

    31. You will meet someone from Stargate, Star Trek: TNG, a lesser known ape, or a minor Goonie.

    32. You'll meet Lou Ferrigno in your hotel lobby.

    33. You'll see someone you've admired for years looking lost and you'll be too shy to help them.

    34. You will get smacked in the face with a styrofoam sword or plastic light sabre.

    35. You will collect all and any swag people offer you, forgetting that you have to carry it home.

    36. You will get sick but you'll die happy.