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36 Things That Will Always Happen At A Comic Convention

You will become eater-of-Haribo, devourer-of-undercooked-pizzas.

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1. The train to the convention centre will be a humbling experience.

Your journey will be an unofficial crossover of universes and infinite worlds that no one cleared with Lucasfilm.
Howard Whitman / Via technologytell.com

Your journey will be an unofficial crossover of universes and infinite worlds that no one cleared with Lucasfilm.

2. The line to get in will be swear-to-god longer than your whole life up until this point.

You will forget what not being in a queue feels like.
The Conmunity - Pop Culture Geek / Via flic.kr

You will forget what not being in a queue feels like.

3. But the queues will not be your regular civilian queues.

"So is there like a special detergent or something that stops the black running into the red?"
istolethetv / Via flic.kr

"So is there like a special detergent or something that stops the black running into the red?"

4. There will be someone wearing a T-shirt advertising "free hugs".

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They'll be playing a ukulele at you while you wait, regardless of your facial expression.

5. You will overhear someone pretending they don't want to be here.

Seinfeld / NBC

(They totally want to be here.)

6. You will get so excited once you finally get in that you will buy something huge you have to carry around all day.

Star Trek: TNG / Paramount / Via cheezburger.com

Did you really need this 14" Enid Coleslaw doll? Did you? (The answer is yes.)

7. If you can't see a person of authority, authority will default to whoever came dressed as the person with the most authority.

These guys will definitely know where the bathroom is.
randychiu / Via flic.kr

These guys will definitely know where the bathroom is.

8. You'll go "Hey, where did all the comics go?" and find them in some marginalised room near the toilets.

Now This News / Via giphy.com

They got demoted to Minor Cheese when movies happened.

9. You will see a comic you destroyed as a kid hanging in a sealed bag with a price tag that has several zeros on it.

Ted 2 / Fuzzy Door Productions / Via giphy.com

Jam does not add value to comic books.

10. You will try to survive on Haribo.

Home Alone / Hughes Entertainment / Via giphy.com

This is possible on a day pass but not a weekend pass.

11. You will miss out on meeting your goddamn personal hero because you were away getting a goddamn pretzel.

Fargo / Working Title Films / Via reactiongifs.com

12. You will sit beside a man hastily and noisily sewing the last bits of his costume together during a panel.

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You won't explicitly ask if it's a sex thing but you'll make a mental note to google it later.

13. An actor who played a minor role in a big film will suffer public heartbreak on stage.

The Simpsons / 20th Century Fox / Via giphy.com

The first Q. in the Q&A will be: "Uhm...*tap tap*...Which, uh, which guy were you?"

14. Someone will ask a question at a Q&A that's actually just a long story about themselves and the answer will be silence.

Sex & The City / HBO

"..."

15. A panel will be cancelled because it didn't have enough women in it, and the man who called for it to be cancelled will think he is Jesus.

Black Books / Big Talk

Actual footage of him checking Twitter in his hotel room.

16. There will be a lot of this.

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19. There'll be at least five of these.

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20. This guy won't take off his coat when he gets inside.

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21. Weekend pass = more than one costume.

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22. Day pass = less than one costume.

Ewen Roberts / Via flic.kr

23. There will be many Leias. ~Like an onion~

You can't go home until you've seen at least 10 gold ones.
istolethetv / Via flic.kr

You can't go home until you've seen at least 10 gold ones.

24. There will be a tiny Darth Vader.

Plus more Leias.
The Conmunity - Pop Culture Geek / Via flic.kr

Plus more Leias.

25. You'll see entire families in cosplay.

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SO MUCH PLANNING AND EFFORT.

26. You will regret your footwear.

Harry Potter / Warner Bros. / Via popsugar.com

SO MUCH WALKING AND QUEUING.

27. You'll miss a lot of the stuff you wanted to see because you'll be in an alleyway taking important photographs.

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28. You will be invited to a room party that smells weird.

The IT Crowd / Talkback Thames / Via giphy.com

Here is the rule for room parties, apparently: room parties must smell weird.

29. The second day of your weekend pass will basically be a write-off because of hangovers.

flossingwhiledrunk.tumblr.com

Do not ask for free elaborate sketches while standing next to an artist at the urinal today.

30. Two cartoonists will get into what we assume is a fight.

Seinfeld / NBC

Years later, people will still be wondering what cartoonists fight about. (Girls or colour guides? Who knows.)

31. You will meet someone from Stargate, Star Trek: TNG, a lesser known ape, or a minor Goonie.

Harry Potter / Warner Bros.

They'll be charging £10 for a photo but you'll opt for a creepshot from 50 feet away.

32. You'll meet Lou Ferrigno in your hotel lobby.

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You're statistically more likely to meet Lou Ferrigno than any other actor in your hotel lobby even if he's not a guest at this convention.

33. You'll see someone you've admired for years looking lost and you'll be too shy to help them.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer / 20th Century Fox / Via wifflegif.com

It will haunt you for all time. As far as you know, Leonard Nimoy remained lost until he died.

34. You will get smacked in the face with a styrofoam sword or plastic light sabre.

IIGeekII / youtube.com / Via imgur.com

You'll be so tired you won't even care.

35. You will collect all and any swag people offer you, forgetting that you have to carry it home.

Supernatural / Warner Bros. / Via giphy.com

This is a rookie error.

36. You will get sick but you'll die happy.

Parks and Recreation / Universal Television / Via giphy.com

There's no way of avoiding con crud. You're sharing this with fellow fans, comic book creators, and probably that actress you like in Game of Thrones.

Enjoy.