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    19 Jokes About Owning A Cat That Are Funny Because They're True

    "Hello, Police? I accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested."

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    my mum: why is your bed soaking wet me thinking about the 9 unsuccessful attempts to get the cat to drink water out of my cupped hands at 2am: i peed. that is pee

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    "someday this will all be yours" I tell my cat, waving my arms wildly at a few amazon boxes by the front door

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    New boyfriend is allergic to kitten so can't keep him :( He's ginger & named Tom. Friendly. Comes when called. 28yrs-old & works in IT.

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    BATMAN: I got you flowers CATWOMAN: Put them in this vase BATMAN: Ok CATWOMAN: *pushes vase off counter while maintaining eye contact*

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    Me: *Sobbing* One minute he loves me and the next he wants nothing to do me! Therapist: That's pretty typical cat behavior....

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    ME: okay guys I bought a $100 cat tree and multiple beds just for you CATS:

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    Cat: Remember that time you told me you wanted me to stand on your chest with my arse in your face at every opportunity? Me: No. Cat: Whatever!

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    Sometimes I wonder if I spoil the cat, seeing him with his iPad, in his yurt.

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    When someone asks what I’m up to, there’s a 90% chance I’m trying not to pee my pants while waiting patiently for my cat to decide she’s done laying on my lap

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    I try to be a good person, but it has been indicated that if I keep ordering the big bags of cat litter from the Internet the UPS guy is going to put out a hit on me.

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    @dreamyvortex me, when my cat stands straight on my neck, and chokes me out while he’s cleaning my face and purring

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    When my cat meows at me after I’ve meowed at her, I genuinely believe I’ve spoken some kind of word in cat language.

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    when ur cat gets the fly that's been buzzin' around ur apartment causin' a ruckus

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