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38 Sentences That Will Confuse The Fuck Out Of Everyone Who Is Not From Manchester

"Can I cadge a lift off you?"

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1. "Alright, our kid?" – Hello, person I know.

2. "Now then…" – Hello, how have you been doing?

3. "Swear down…" – I absolutely completely and utterly promise that what I'm going to say is true.

4. "Nah man, nah." – I don't believe you.

5. "We're just having a few beers round mine." – We will be out all night and you will regret it bitterly in the morning.

6. "I'm doing Dry January." – I'm telling people that I'm not drinking but you can quite easily convince me to stop this madness if you buy me a drink.

7. "I'm buzzin' for tonight." – I'm really excited about this evening's festivities.

8. "MAD FER IT!" – I can barely contain my joy because we're going to drink copious amounts of alcohol in the very near future.

9. "It's full of pricks in here." – We're in a bar in Spinningfields and everyone is wearing a suit.

10. "You out tonight?" – If you're going out, I'll be staying on the sofa in my pyjamas.

11. "Town later?" – If I do see you in town later, I'll probably be so drunk that I won't recognise or remember you.

12. "Wanna grab a jar?" – Would you like to drink with me?

13. "I'm hanging well bad." – I drank so much last night that my body is trying to kill me.

14. "CITY OR UNITED?!" – Be careful how you answer this, because I will judge whatever you say.

15. "It's well nice out today." – The rain has abated slightly.

16. "That's mint." – The thing you mentioned is very good.

17. "That's sound." – The thing you mentioned is very good.

18. "That's fuckin' mingin'." – The thing you mentioned has disgusted me.

19. "Got any chuddy?" – Do you have chewing gum?

20. "Make us a brew." – I'd like a cup of tea, please.

21. "I'm just going to have my dinner." – It's time to eat my lunch.

22. "What you having for tea?" – What are you having for dinner.

23. "Fancy a chippy tea?" – Do you want to go to the chip shop and get chips smothered in gravy and a pie?

24. "Me stomach thinks me throat's bin cut." – I'm ravenous.

25. "Let's get some scran." – We should find and eat some food.

26. "He's dead 'ard." – I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of him.

27. "She's a top lass." – I like her; she is fun to spend time with.

28. "See his nice keks?" – His trousers are lovely.

29. "I like your bins, mate." – Your glasses are nice.

30. "That lass in Northern Quarter was well fit." – She had a short fringe, a septum ring, and was wearing a lot of oversized vintage clothes and a tiny backpack.

31. "That lad in Northern Quarter was mint-looking." – His beard was very bushy, he had a lot of tattoos, and his jeans seemed a little too small for him.

32. "That lass on Deansgate was well fit." – She had an elaborate, borderline-dangerous manicure, legs up to HERE in stilettos, and a tasteful fake tan.

33. "That lad on Deansgate was mint-looking." – I liked his open shirt, stiffly coiffed hair, and scent of David Beckham's Homme.

34. "Innit." – I am placing emphasis at the end of my sentence. Or in the middle, if needs be.

35. "I've got to go up north." – I'm visiting Newcastle, Durham, Scotland, or the North Pole.

36. "I've got to go down south." – I'm going to London, and I probably won't like it.

37. "Can I cadge a lift off you, mate?" – Please take me somewhere in your car.

38. "Oh, just do one." – Please fuck off, I'm done with you.