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1. A book of comics so you can explore your most gruesome and bizarre fears, and creep out all your friends.
Promising review: "The book itself looks as creepy on the outside as it is within, and looks great on any bookshelf. It's a great read and well worth the price. Also it was nice to see that some of my more mundane fears are not mine alone." —Bree B
Get it from Amazon for $13.56, or find a copy at your local library.
2. A matte black lip reviewers swear by — it's not greasy, and of course it shall go perfectly with your all-black wardrobe.
Promising review: "I absolutely love this lipstick. It's not greasy like most black lipsticks out there and has a smooth, matte finish. It's is also highly pigmented so a little goes a long way." —Emily Rose
Get it from Amazon for $13.90.
3. A pair of space curtains that might send you into your next existential crisis with just one look. Some people are comforted by how small we are in the universe and others are terrified, to each their own!
Promising review: "Great artwork and easy to install. Not a blackout curtain by any means, I am waiting on liners to help block the sunlight more. Other than that they are great and worth the price." —pa 1911 fan
Get them from Amazon for $64.95 (five sizes).
4. A jar of black glitter slime to have something to squeeze and squish as you sip black coffee and try not to slip too far into existential dread.
Get it from Pure Gold Slimes on Etsy for $1.
5. A black choker that'll scream "yes I am cute, but breathe near me the wrong way and I will haunt your nightmares 😊" enjoy!
Get it from Amazon for $6.69.
6. A charming mug featuring dead dinos to ensure your next cup of tea comes with a reminder of inevitable extinction.
Get it from Amazon for $15.95.
7. A pair of sterling-silver rose earrings made from natural amber for anyone who is often in a ~rosy~ mood.
Get them from Amazon for $19.99 (three colors).
8. A wicked cool Harry Potter patronus light that'll remind you to think of your happiest memories in the face of soul-crushing fear and darkness. Or at the very least, serve as a unique night light.
Get it from Think Geek for $12.99.
9. A Beetlejuice pin ready to satisfy your need for '90s grunge nostalgia.
10. A ouija board soap so you can add channeling the dead to your daily self-care routine.
Get it from Manon the Moon Mystics on Etsy for $6.68 (13 colors).
11. A 3D skull pan for anyone who wants to bake the sickest cake of all time.
Promising review: "Bought it for my son's 11th birthday. I used white cake mix and filled just the skeleton, put a drop of red food coloring in the eyes, and then filled the rest of it with green cake mix. When it was ready, it looked like a skeleton with glowing red eyes rising out of a swamp. The kids didn't even want me to frost it. Best cake pan ever. Make sure to spray it with non-stick very well." —Mary Popio
Get it from Amazon for $49.99.
12. A gender roles are dead crew neck that'll show you mean business with your cute but also don't-f*ck-with-me self.
Get it from Flavnt for $40 (sizes S–3X).
13. A dark tarot guide because we all know the dark cards are the best, and now you can fully understand what they mean!
Get it from The Dark Exact on Etsy for $17.95.
14. A splurge-worthy Witches Moon monthly subscription box filled with spells, herbs, crystals, and everything you need to have a *witchin'* good time.
What you get: handmade candles, spells from the Book of Shadows, smudge, herbs, ritual tools, sacred salts, and much more!
Promising review: "While I knew I would love a lot of the items included after looking at past boxes, I was initially suspicious of the price for this. But I just opened my fifth box and EVERY MONTH I am so excited about when this shipment comes. I am constantly posting on IG about the items, sharing with my friends, etc. The value is phenomenal if you are used to shopping in metaphysical stores (usually not cheap), the themes are creative, the items are thoughtful. CANNOT RECOMMEND ENOUGH — if you're on the edge, just do it. It will get you started if you're new to witchcraft, or it will enhance your current practice if you're a seasoned witch." —Niki
Get it from Cratejoy for $45 a month.
15. A RIck And Morty trivia game that'll test your knowledge of the show and give you a heavy dose of dark humor.
Categories include Frienemies, Technology and Science, Locations, Rick and the Family, History and Events, and a Wubalubadubdub Wild Card.
Get it from Think Geek for $19.99.
16. A zombie squirrel so your pup can get in on the darker side of life too.
Get it from Bark Shop for $10.
17. An all-black cast-iron tea set perfect for ~steeping~ in your feelings while you sip some chai.
Set includes: one teapot, one trivet, and two cups.
Promising review: "I took a risk on this tea pot. I mean, not the kind of risk that anyone will write a movie about, but a risk nonetheless — I like quality and have zero patience for anything cheap. The risk was that this tea pot was on the inexpensive side, so it could have ended up in a garage sale. Instead, it's perfect. The removable steel infusing basket is a really cool touch that preserves the rustic aesthetic, without the rustic pain in the ass. Love it." —J. Ryan Jones
Get it from Amazon for $13.99.
18. A T-shirt that'll answer any and all questions strangers may want to throw your way for you when you're not the the mood. Bye!
Get it from Wildfang for $40 (sizes XS–2X).
19. A rainbow unicorn watercolor illustration for anyone who really deep down is just a bursting ray of sunshine, and is only reading this post to reflect on how far you've come since your goth phase.
Get it from Charamath's Art Corner on Etsy for $5+ (three sizes).
20. And a pair of Docs with beautiful embroidered roses so you can rock your dark aesthetic forever. I've owned these for three years and they've never let me down.
Promising review: "I'm a huge fan of Dr. Martens. I have a lot of them and wear them all the time. This is a very cute boot; I bought it for the gorgeous rose embroidery and because I was looking for a taller boot. I wear women's US size 11, medium width, and Docs fit true to size for me. My feet are slightly narrow with a high arch. Seems like the newer Docs these days have better insoles and arch support." —NW Dryad
Get them from Amazon for $109.93+ (sizes 4–11).
21. A framed quote from your pal Edgar Allan Poe that'll make you feel right at home.
Get it from Jane Austen And Company on Etsy for $13.
22. A dad humor–inspired T-shirt Star Wars fans and dads of the dark side shall adore.
23. A "life was ok" pin to show that it really is all worth it in the end!!
24. A banner to hang up for your next break-up party, house show, apocalypse party, and other joyful events.
Get it from Dark Ideals on Etsy for $5.50+ (choose from 15 phrases and 13 colors)
25. A bright and cheerful phone case so you can channel how you truly feel when you're trying your best to adult and make a bunch of appointments you don't want to go to.
Get it from Valfre for $32.
26. A book that is more helpful than it is morbid, because planning who will get dibs on your stuff in the event of death is serious business.
Promising review: "Some people may not like the title, but it makes me laugh every time I add to the book. It not only stores the information, but will help you remember additional things to add with space for notes. For those of us who really don’t know where to begin or what to include, this was a great beginning, and is making the process much more entertaining! Even if you store all your info online, this is much more personal." —LR
Get it from Amazon for $13.33, or find a copy at your local library.
27. A beat it creep shirt I would honestly die for — the perfect shirt to wear to a party where you interact with the pets only IMO.
Get it from Valfre for $64 (XS–XXL).
28. A set of sassy AF luggage tags to protect all your dark stuff from an even darker world.
Get them from Wildfang for $8.
29. And a skeleton dress you just may have to buy in every color, so that you have the perfect dress for every occasion.
Promising review: "This dress is a winner! I was afraid it would be too small, or unflattering like some of the other retro dresses (claiming to be plus size) on Amazon but the fit is perfect. 3X — 22/24: it lifts the bust, defines the waist and flares, even the arms don’t tug. There’s no liner, but the fabric is thick enough that I don’t feel it’s revealing anything. I’m very satisfied with this buy, and it’s $25 w/ free returns! Worth checking out." —Amazon Customer
Get it from Amazon for $15.99+ (nine colors, sizes S–4X).
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Some reviews have been edited for length and clarity.
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