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47 Things That Happen Whilst Working At An American Summer Camp

you can't ride in my little red wagon

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1. Making friendship bracelets and quickly realising embroidery thread was the highest currency on camp

2. Sitting through painful campfire skits and feigning interest

3. And having only yourself to blame because you definitely weren't watching when your campers said 'hey can we do this at campfire?'

4. Being super psyched when it was somebodies birthday in your clique and you got cake

5. Everyone hooking up with everybody because you're all wearing camp goggles and haven't seen the real world in like 2 months

6. The upper teens perfectly sussing out which counsellors were hooking up with which and having to deny everything

7. A bear inevitably gracing camp with its presence and you all freaking out with slight concern but mainly sheer excitement

8. Loosing your S'more virginity and being largely disappointed with Hersheys chocolate and not really understanding graham crackers

9. Living for Thursday night Cook Outs and not caring at all how shit the meat was because you knew you were getting an ice cream sandwich for desert

10. Swaying between absolutely hating mess hall chants and absolutely flipping the table over with your eager involvement

11. Playing Capture the Flag and Tribal Wars and feeling really disappointed in your home country for not implementing such a thing in your childhood

12. Feeling like you've repeated the buddy tag system far too many times

13. Making travel plans about 1 month into camp and it being the most exciting thing ever

14. Having one camper pee themselves on your watch, or, alternatively, having an upper teen get their period on your watch

15. Your camper getting a crush on one of the boys who is totally not interested resulting in multiple tears, huge drama and a strong withdrawl from all pleasantries

16. Worse, your returner campers re-igniting their previous summer romance and having to watch them like a hawk

17. The one day of summer designated to the Lake, Lake Day you may call it, where lessons are cancelled and the day is spent doing water sports and hanging on the docks

18. Having that one camper who hates camp yet is always forced to go year after year by their parents

19. Being quietly excited for that one piss annoying brat of a camper to go home

20. Only finding time to shower in the dead of night and usually forgoing it because you're so tired you can't see

21. Creating a countdown song to aid how many days left at camp there are. Usually to the tune of 10 green bottles, but faster, and with a better end goal than zero bottles.

22. Huge beef being had over not being put in the pre-established 'cool' group on your day off

23. Acting nonchalant when you're put in the cool group for every day off you have that summer, whilst also agreeing with the losers that 'yes, its not fair at all'.

24. Telling your camper you don't think a bowl of apple sauce is an appropriate thing to eat for lunch, before being told this is totally the norm for American children, weirdos.

25. Trying to keep your cool whilst dishing out 8 bowls of spaghetti to 8 impatient 6 years olds and just spending all your time in the mess hall laughing hysterically

26. Actually spending all of your time at camp laughing hysterically to prevent yourself from weeping over the sheer insanity of the whole situation

27. Being super excited to spend 4th July in America

28. Thoroughly enjoying the discos and dances set up specifically for the campers because they bring a DJ in and you've not heard music for a while

29. Using the shit out of McDonalds free wifi on your days off and wishing you hadn't bought that American Sim because you really don't need it

30. Hiring out the local Travelodge on the weekend to host a crazy red cup free for all jumped up party and thoroughly enjoying it

31. When one of the American counsellors has a car and steps up be your ride all weekend touring the local hotspots

32. Bumping into somebody elses camper whose super stoked for their next lesson with you and having your heart melt

33. Spending one day in the blistering 30 degree heat and the next day being caught in a mad storm because you're in the forest and everything is so temperamental up here

34. Actually really appreciating Rainy Day Plans for giving you a break from your mad classes for at least half a day

35. Having a favourite camper even when you're not supposed to and everyone's equal but yes Leila you were my favourite

36. When you found out one of the campers had a celebrity parent and you'd eagerly await catching a glimpse of them at drop off

37. Going to a rich camp and living for Friday afternoons where your day campers parents would tip you on the sly

38. Having to learn how to accept a tip discretley and not be Chandler Bing

39. Realising your tolerance for children has really grown, and you're actually quite good at this

40. Absolutely loving your camp family and being sad to leave, even though you're travelling with some of them you know that you'll probably never have everyone together again

41. Knowing that when you get home nobody will want to listen to your camp stories because they weren't their and it means nothing to them

42. Realising that spending 24hours a day 6 days a week for 2 months straight with children is extremely difficult and tiring but fully accepting it as the best thing you've ever done

43. Saying your final goodbyes and driving out into the sunset round winding country roads and still not believing you made it out alive

44. Getting to travel the US with some of the most likeminded people you've ever met who've rapidly become your best friends

45. Having that one song you'll always associate with this summer because it was literally on every single station every time you got in the camp van

46. And spending the rest of the year counting down your return and wondering how old is too old to be a counsellor

47. And finally getting home to your own bed and not having to concern yourself with bed bugs

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