Recently, we asked the BuzzFeed Community* to share their experiences dating rich people, and...wow. Just wow. These stories are even wilder than I thought. Read on to hear what these people learned about the rich — and what made them end their relationships.
*I also threw in a few responses from these two Reddit threads.
1. "I went on a date with someone that completely wrecked her brand new car. She didn't give a microscopic ounce of a fuck. She had a new car the next day. She didn't even report it to insurance; she just bought a new car."
"She would also pay to renovate shit and then pay again to swap it out. Made me sick. I learned that resources mean nothing and everything is replaceable to certain rich people."
2. "He seemed really down to earth, and that is what I really liked about him. That was until he was 'forced to fly in first class.' He was used to flying private, but then his dad decided that they would fly first class moving forward to help reduce their carbon footprint and keep his board happy, too. He wouldn't talk to his dad for a few weeks, and tried to have an intervention with his siblings around their dad not paying for private flights anymore. His dad walked out of the intervention, and threatened to cut them all off. I have never flown in first class. I couldn't even look at him after his temper tantrum about being 'forced to fly in first class.' It had to end."
—Anonymous
3. "I've dated rich, been around it, and it's just weird. ... When they send you out to do errands, because they think you're the help, that wad of cash they sent you with is because they don't actually know what things cost anymore. Once got handed just shy of a grand because her little brother wanted chicken nuggets from McDonald's. I thought it was a test. It was not."
4. "When I was in college (about 21), I dated a guy who we'll call John who I honestly don't even know how much money his family had. The were old money, and Southern money, so the thought of where this multigenerational fortune came from is honestly horrifying. We dated for about a year. I never met his parents. He wasn't embarrassed of me or anything, it's that they were just never home. They never got together for holidays. I have never seen a family less close."
"His father was always off handling some vague business something or other, and his mother for all intents and purposes lived in their vacation home on St. Croix. They were still married, but I don't think they'd actually spoken since their youngest child graduated high school. The only 'family' I ever met was the live-in housekeeper/nanny who was the person who actually raised John. She was as lovely as can be, but she also had her own family, so the idea that this woman lived in this giant house that she kept up for a family of people who spent maybe three weeks a year in it when she had a husband and son in her own home was...bizarre? I never really understood it. We broke up because John was honestly just completely disconnected from day-to-day reality through no fault of his own. He wanted more autonomy because he didn't like that people treated him differently due to his wealth, but he also couldn't hide his upbringing. I had to teach him how to do laundry, make coffee, and put sheets on a bed. The man didn't know that you have to clean a shower. ... After about six months in his own apartment, he broke down and started having the housekeeper/nanny come weekly and clean his space in addition to his parent's house. He couldn't handle the effort of taking care of himself, and I couldn't handle what felt like raising my own boyfriend into an adult. The final fight was because I wouldn't take off of work to go with him to Paris short notice. John wanted to take me with him to help select his new wardrobe for the season. It turns out this guy had been going to Paris twice a year since he was 12 to purchase all new clothes to replace the previous season's wardrobe (at least the 'old' clothes were donated and not just tossed). He fully understood that a semi-annual shopping trip to Paris was extreme, but he just thought the travel part was excessive. He genuinely did not know that normal people just keep wearing the same clothes for years. The idea of wearing the same winter coat (and you can imagine the fabulous full-length cashmere coats this man was buying) two years in a row was unfathomable to him. That was almost 20 years ago, and my understanding is that now he's gone complete right-wing incel lunatic. He was honestly lovely when I knew him, and I have no idea what turned him that way. I honestly don't know that I care. It is a strength to think how much happier I am than he will ever be when he has had the whole world at his finger tips this whole time."
—Anonymous
5. "I had a girl that wanted to take me to her parents' vacation home for the weekend. But it was farther than my two-hour, on-call leash as a firefighter. She was like, no worries if you get called out on a fire...I'll have my dad pick you up in the helicopter."
6. "My ex's father was rich. My ex himself was not rich, did not understand the value of money, and was a spoiled asshole who got a great job at a great company full of awesome people and then proceeded to steal from them. He would bitch at me for buying food for the apartment and then come home with $200 worth of stupid shit he got talked into buying at the mall. When his windshield got cracked, he bought a new car."
"He was the single most incompetent and entitled person I've ever known, but he firmly believed he was the smartest person in any room he entered. None of his friends talk to him anymore because he either stole from or alienated all of them."
7. "I remember people talking to me like I was out of my mind when I ended things with a very wealthy guy. He just had no concept of not having money. He also complained a lot when his friends couldn't keep up with his lifestyle — saying things like, 'I don't get it. They have jobs.' And I'd have to be like... 'Dude, your closest friend makes, like, 60k a year.' At the time, I made 50k a year. I kind of broke through a little when he got really irritated with me because he'd ask me what I wanted to do for dinner, and I wouldn't have a good answer. I had to explain to him that I grew up destitute and food-scarce. Having opinions on what you want to eat was never an option, and I didn't want to start now. Still had to break up with him, though. He was a jackwagon."
8. "I dated two guys who were wealthy. One was generational, and one was new money. I hung out with their friends, and they were nice enough. But good god...we would be at a rave doing molly, and I would still overhear them talking about finance and the market. It was wild. Money is their life. That’s it. Sex, drugs, love, sadness, general life experiences, the human condition… None of it was as important or pleasurable as money was to them."
9. "Both of the exceptionally rich men I dated were so out of touch with reality. The detail that sticks out is that one of them just didn't know how to talk about anything else. I'd ask him about movies or books or music, and he had no opinions. And I could tell it made him uncomfortable not to have the upper hand in the conversation (I think he thought I was a pretty simple country girl, and was surprised that I had thoughts and opinions), so he'd fall back on asking me variations of 'if money wasn't an issue, what would you...' just for him to say, 'Well, I could make that happen for you' when I answered. Got old real fast. [He] did not take the rejection well at the end of the night."
10. "My ex-boyfriend (let's call him Mike) comes from a family worth £12 million. ... When we were dating, he was a student in Edinburgh, and rather than renting a place, his parents had bought him an apartment in the city so they could rent out the spare rooms on Airbnb during the holidays."
"After about six months of dating, he invited me to move in with him, and said he'd arranged it with his parents that I could stay rent free, with the rationale that I was going to be in his room and working so I wouldn't be using up anything extra, taking up any more space, and I'd be paying for my own food. I cooked for the both of us, and if I didn't, I'd literally just microwave something quick for myself, for example, if I was working late and he'd already eaten.
This was always supposed to be temporary, and I was going to find something with more space for myself because of the space situation. Unfortunately, it took me a few weeks to find a job, the only thing I could get that quick was part time, and by the time I got a proper paycheck, it was, like, six weeks later, and I'd already eaten into a lot of my savings.
His mother decided to come visit on 24 hours' notice, and of course, he starts freaking out. ... He hadn't told her that I was there because he knew she wouldn't approve. My first proper meeting with this woman (I'd previously met her once for five minutes when I came to meet him for our first date since she happened to be there) was maybe two hours after she learned I'd been living there without her consent, and she immediately hated me.
And I don't mean 'she hated me' like I hate mushrooms, she hated me. The woman accused me of lying to her and taking advantage of her generosity, gave me two weeks to find a place, banned me from the apartment; then this 70-year-old woman deadass spent five straight months sleeping on his couch or in his bed to make sure I respected the ban, and banned him from staying at my place despite the fact that I lived five minutes away. ... She eventually met me for coffee, spent a solid two hours telling me how toxic and vile I am while reiterating that she's not a monster, then made me sign a contract agreeing to pay her £300 for the time I lived there without her consent. She knew that Mike lied, she didn't care because I believed the lies, and to her, that was worse. He defended me as best he could, but he still cosigned the contract.
... He told her she didn't care about the money, it was all an intimidation tactic, she just wanted us apart. The thing that drove me apart is the fact that for all his defending me, he gave in when it mattered. He sat there, across the table, and he signed the contract. I did it because I thought it was my last chance to salvage our relationship. He did it because his mother told him to.
The big thing I learn is that cruelty is universal. Not just cruelty in the sense that Karen's gonna Karen, universal cruelty. It didn't matter that Mike vouched for me. It didn't matter that (at the time) I thought I made him happy. It didn't matter that she imposed impossible standards on him, or that I was there for him when she wasn't. ... I was poor, and that means I was the problem."
11. "We met at college. He was very kind and sweet. I was sucked into his gentleman-ness so to speak. After seven months, I ended up breaking up with him over his views of other men and his flippant attitude toward money. The moment I realized I wanted to be far away from this man was when he bought a bottle of Louis 13th cognac (worth around $4,500), just to show off that he could to strangers at a bar. He didn’t even drink it or bring it home with him."
—Anonymous
12. "For a while I dated this guy — we’ll call him Max. Max was so incredibly privileged, but that didn’t bother me. What bothered me was that we never acknowledged or appreciated his privilege. He lived in a luxury apartment on the nice side of town that his parents pay for and helped furnish. He would brag about his degree from UVA that his parents paid for. I come from a relatively well-off middle class family, but also a very large family. To provide for all of my siblings, my parents did things like have us drink powdered milk, all our clothing was from Goodwill, etc. Needless to say, my early 20s consisted of a lot of hard work; waiting tables, coming home after a long day to squeeze in school work, scraping every penny I had for community college."
"He would brag about how accomplished he was and how much money he made, or talk about how he should frame his degree. Keep in mind I actually got into UVA; I just couldn’t afford the tuition. He always made me feel less than him, even though I worked so much harder. It was never about being better than him, it was about having him recognize that I’m not some loser working at a restaurant, I have real potential to be something one day."
13. "My shitty abusive ex's grandfather was governor back in the '90s, and when he retired, he sold his company for a couple million dollars. ... My ex and his friends did a lot of drugs and complained about their terrible lives. These people were unemployable — the only jobs they've ever had were with their parents' companies. Ungrateful, out of touch babies. Their parents paid for everything, but they still complained. My ex was the poorest of the group, and he hated it. ... He'd constantly tell me how rich they were, how much their homes cost, what cars they had, how expensive their clothes and accessories were. His 'friends' are the shittiest people I've ever met, and I asked him why he would hang out with them. He said if he played his cards right, they'd invite him to their mansions and private beaches, and if I was a good girlfriend, he'd take me with him."
"Worst goddamn people I've ever met in my life. Money definitely messed up these people. Parents were too busy working and ignored them, so my ex and his friends grew up acting out for attention. They'd get arrested, but they'd get bailed out immediately. The boys grew up to be angry, self absorbed, spoiled, emotionally starved monsters that could not take 'no' as an answer to anything."
14. "My mom was single and used to have an unemployment benefit due to her chronic disease. Therefore, we only had a little bit of money, but still could have a decent life enjoying the little things. In college, I had a girlfriend that was loaded. Her dad paid for her horses, paid for every little thing for her. Her dad already saved up to 100,000 euros for her at the age of 21. When I noticed her savings, she simply stated: 'Well, your mom just can't handle money.' We broke up two weeks after."
15. "I was dating a rich boy who went to Notre Dame. He lived in an apartment with his sister that his parents paid for. I was a poor college student struggling to get by. One night we went to dinner at a restaurant I could never afford. He was a complete dick to our waiter. He sent back everything from his water to his dessert and the food multiple times. I excused myself to go to the bathroom and found the manager. I explained to the manager that my soon-to-be ex-boyfriend was being a complete dick and that the waiter did nothing wrong. I was poor AF, but I gave them money and a tip for my meal, which luckily, they refused. Then, I asked if there was a back door I could sneak out of. The manager let me know they were going to humiliate this guy, which he deserved. I never spoke to him again. He's a doctor now, and his reviews are awful."
16. "I dated an heiress to a massive corporate fortune once. ... Things were cool when we were hanging at dive bars or just going out in the city. She was cool and chill. But when we hung out with her friends, I felt like a complete outsider. I remember going to dinner with them and them all just ordering an insane amount of oysters for the table at Balthazar. I was just doing the math in my head and figured as long as I pretended I wasn’t hungry and didn’t order any entree, I might be able to afford splitting the bill. It bummed me out. She ended up sneakily paying for me, but still, it was enough for me to just feel like there was too big a gap between us to ever really be able to understand the other’s reality."
17. "My ex built a new loft above her business, and originally, it was supposed to have an elevator from her master bedroom to an office. It wasn't installed at first because of cost issues. Well, she blew out her knee, and it was very difficult to go up and down the stairs. Her friends called her and were like, 'We called the guy, and he's going to install the elevator tomorrow. Just pay us back whenever.' It was 25k, which included 7k rush order."
18. "I was dating this really rich guy named Brad. He seemed like a nice dude. We went off-roading on his property and stopped to watch the sunset. We started kissing, and he got handsy. I told him to stop. He threw a whole ass tantrum. Like a toddler. Worse than. He was so used to getting whatever he wanted that the word no meant absolutely nothing to him, and he freaked if he heard it. He screamed at me to try and make me give in, and I dumped him on the spot."
"He left me where we were parked, which was a far way off from the house or any civilization."
19. "I’ve dated one rich person who was also born very rich. I noticed differences in mentality; I care about money, but it is not my life. Whereas, money was his number-one priority. Education and working on yourself did not matter to him, since he already had all the money he wanted. His emotional intelligence was basically nonexistent. Since there was no emotional intelligence or common intelligence, the only thing we could talk about was favorite restaurants, countries to travel to, cars, and luxury brands. He couldn’t do any basic life skills such as making your bed, cooking an egg, doing the laundry, turning the power back on."
"He didn’t care about respecting people ‘below’ him. ... Everyone who had less money than he was ‘beneath’ him. Oh, and he didn’t tip the waitress.
These were my observations during a few conversations and one date in a restaurant. It was a family friend, and our parents wanted us to end up together, thank god I’m picky.
And he found it shameful that I, a woman, studied and worked a job. According to him, women shouldn’t go to university or build a career. According to him, having a nanny was crucial if you wanna have a family."
20. "My ex had rich parents. I was visiting for Christmas one year, and her mom’s KitchenAid mixer failed while she was making cookie dough. These people were literally on their way out the door to go buy a new one at the closest store, when I popped out the brushes and realized they were just gunked up and no longer riding on the commutator. I cleaned and greased them, popped them back in, and the mixer ran like new. These people were about to blow $300–$400 without taking the time to see if they needed to."
21. "I was studying abroad with this guy who I thought was really cute but boasted about coming from a wealthy family. After spending a few weeks in classes together, we started hanging out. We were telling each other about previous people we dated and our friends back home. He said he had a crush on this girl for a while, but she was 'too poor for him' because she was going to college on a scholarship. Mind you, she was going to MEDICAL school and will be a doctor someday. Needless to say, I didn’t think he was cute anymore."
—Anonymous
22. "I dated a wealthy guy long distance for a few months (AL to CA). He was definitely a person who liked to spend money on people, but it became clear that it was simply a means to control those around him. He made a lot of promises early on about how, as a millionaire, he had no problem paying my student loans, tuition, helping with my kids. I felt uncomfortable with all of this and told him so. He started trying to convince me to accept money in smaller amounts, offering to treat me to a pedicure here and there, things like that. I accepted a couple of smaller gifts, and immediately, he went off the rails. He demanded I allow him to check my CashApp history to prove other men weren't sending me money, he did a background search (illegally) on myself and my ex-husband, he tried to convince me to move to his location under the guise of helping me get medical treatment for an immune issue, he knew information about me and my young children that I hadn't told him."
"He also started degrading me in casual conversation, calling me a bitch, gaslighting me about my own heritage, etc. It quickly became what felt like a stalking situation, so I blocked him on everything and reported the communications to the police. Luckily, I moved relatively shortly after that, and he wasn't aware of my forwarding address. Still gives me the creeps."
—Anonymous
23. "Rich parents tend to make for an emotionally stunted child. My first serious girlfriend was the daughter of a successful London stockbroker. He was a complete shit of a father and husband; emotionally distant and only knew how to reward his daughter financially, never emotionally. Outwardly to strangers, he was charismatic and cheerful. I was privy to what went on behind closed doors, and he really was a turd of a person. She'll never want for money — I'm sure the stock portfolio he gradually built for her is paying off handsomely — but she was cold and closed off emotionally because of his neglect and abuse, which were rooted in the idea that money was the only way to measure his success."
"She had so many hangups because of this that it's difficult to pick just one example, though the one that sticks with me most is when on her 20th birthday some of her old school friends came to visit, and we all went out for a meal. It was my first time putting faces to names I'd become familiar with over several years, and I was chatting to them in what I thought was a friendly way. I mean, if they were good enough to be her friends, that was good enough for me. It was a nice meal, and everything seemed fine. The next day, she was really upset and even more distant than usual, and after I pushed her for a reason, she eventually admitted that she hated how I had spoken to her friends because 'they're my friends, not yours.' In her mind, I should have interacted only with her and treated everybody else with courteous detachment.
Her mother was...only married to the dad because she fell pregnant with my ex, I assume from a one night stand. She lived like a ghost; cooking meals and tending to chores while staying firmly out of sight. The few times I ever saw him speak directly to her, he showed her only disdain, treating her more like hired help than the mother of his child. He would spend his evenings in strip clubs, buying £1,000-a-bottle champagne and doing fuck knows what else.
He tolerated me as his daughter's boyfriend until he actually bothered to have a conversation with me and found out I came from a poor family. After that, he basically treated me like a piece of dog shit on the bottom of his shoe.
I felt sorry for my ex. She wasn't innocent herself, but given the dynamic between her parents and between her and her father, who she desperately wanted to please but knew that she probably never could unless she became as cold and cruel as he was, never really gave her a chance.
We didn't end on good terms — she cheated on me multiple times and rationalized it to herself long before I ever found out — but I hope she's doing well. Our relationship was never going to work out in the long run, and I think we both knew it at the time, but she was my first love, and we both learned a lot from the years we were together."
24. "I think the biggest thing for me was just how different we were and how hard it was to relay things I had always thought were basic knowledge or, like, common problems. For instance, this one guy I dated was a really nice dude and all, but he would just do things like break something on accident or make a mistake and be like, 'Oh well, I’ll replace it!' And, like, it just put me in a weird place because to me if he didn’t replace it, it would be a devastating financial blow, but he was just like, 'no big deal,' and while sure, that was nice, I was still upset because now I had to be indebted to this dude to replace it on his timeline...and while he always did, he always felt like it was weird I would be upset. To me, it felt smothering and like I owed him, and even though he never would say that or even maybe think it consciously, he just sort of had that vibe."
"Granted I kept thinking that he was just 'upper middle class,' but then he took me on a trip to his hometown as it was on the way to my hometown (this was in college), and I saw his house, and it was like a freaking mansion with a sauna and a movie theater and, like, not at all what I believe middle class was, and I was incredulous, I was like, 'Dude I thought you said you were middle class...this is, like, straight up rich,' and he was shocked, like literally SHOCKED, I thought he was rich.
I have seen a lot in my life, but that, that almost kinda broke me. Like, I couldn’t understand how someone could even think that was middle class, and my god, if they thought they were middle class, what did they think of how poor people lived, like my family lived.
It just sorta clarified to me that rich people can never understand and never fathom what it is like to struggle in that way. I get they have their own issues, but damn. Being poor affects you on such a deep mental and physical level that it’s almost impossible to relate to someone like that."
25. "I...dated my ex for three years and never felt comfortable around her mom. I wasn’t good enough, 'cause I didn’t come from a good family. My family was always loving and welcoming to them, but not the other way around. The one thing that hurt the most was the first time I was meeting her grandma. Granny and I were flanking my ex at the table, and I heard her say niiice and clear, 'You know you can meet better men if you get your masters.'"
26. "Lot of folks talking about the money aspects, but the personality differences were super eye-opening to me. Went to a fancy dinner with an ex whose dad was a big name NYC architect. Would constantly name drop about who he was working with, talk about the buildings as if they were his, and would spout off random facts about all the dishes being brought out. Supposedly was great friends with the chef at this place, and despite paying thousands of dollars for us to all be there, the chef never came out to chat or anything. It was just regular assholery, but when they're paying for everything, it's pretty clear they don't expect to have their BS called out. I got along much better with the staff than the family."
"Also, rich people love paying a ton for almost no food. Was told we were going to a 10-course meal, so I showed up hungry. What a mistake that was. Each 'course' was one bite (on an oversized plate), but everyone would cut multiple pieces out of every plate to take the tiniest nibbles. Such a surreal experience. The food tasted pretty good, though, I have to admit, but I immediately went and got some fast food when I got home because I was starving."
27. "I married into a pretty rich family. I’m a westerner, and she was Chinese. They all had loads of money and were not shy of showing it to me, either. Her uncle was a high-placed member in the communist party, and his house was huge. He took us out to the most expensive restaurants, took care of my visa (got one for five years instantly), and came up with my Chinese name which roughly translated to 'strong mountain.' I’ve never been rich. ... It was all so great in the beginning, and her parents basically pushed us to marry quite soon. We wanted to marry obviously, but not that fast."
"We got married in China; her family bought us a house and a piece of land, and now they expected me to live up to their expectations. So, without experience or much knowledge, I started a company which exported plastics used in the medical field to Thailand, Indonesia, and Singapore. Did pretty well, but it was never good enough for her family.
Tensions got to a point where I was no longer speaking with them, my relationship was at a breaking point, and I burned out. Sold it all after she cheated on me. ... I really hope that marrying into a rich family worked out for some, but for me, it was a nightmare."
28. "I could have, but didn’t marry into a suddenly wealthy family. Her family sold some land that became a Starbucks. She suddenly started paying tabs for entire bars full of people she didn’t know. She tried to buy me a car without telling me. Alcohol started to become a problem for her. She started taking destination vacations too often and kept trying to take me. I kept saying no, though I couldn’t say why. Eventually, I figured out that it was because on some level, I knew she was trying to get me to buy into her problems. She looked pretty shocked when I ended it. I think she figured eventually I was going to come around to the idea that if I married her, I would probably be rich for the rest of my life."
"She seems to have ended up getting her act together and is now married and about to have a kid. ... I am very happy for her. But I can’t help wondering if it’s all really happening that way. Because back when we were together, there was definitely effort put into appearances. Making things seem normal when they weren’t. This was most prominent when we were at their family get-togethers. Breaking it off was the right move. In her case, the money caused lots of deep, ugly problems before it did good."
29. And finally, let's end on someone who learned a ton about rich people from dating one:
"I learned a few things:
1. A lot of rich people are deeply unhappy. They lack drive, because they don't 'need' to do something. Many of them can just sort of laze around. They fall into very unhealthy habits, trying to fill a hole that money can't fill.
2. They lack a lot of basic skills. How to unclog a drain, how to hang a painting, how to change a filter. They'll spend $100 to get a handyman to spend two hours doing something they could fix themselves in 30 minutes and a $15 trip to the home depot.
3. They're often fiercely competitive and super insecure about their wealth. I went through most of my life without ever talking about money. Why talk about something you don't have? But at a rich person dinner, it's a constant dick measuring contest of 'I made x amount on this investment' or 'I put so much here and expect so much back.'
4. Money really does make life easier. Like, if you're a happy person with goals and a healthy attitude toward life, you can just buy the things you need to pursue your passions.
5. There exists a higher end product for almost everything, and it's often significantly better. It might sound stupid, but a $200 toaster or $150 kettle actually does improve your breakfast. A $700 vacuum cleans in ways you never thought possible. You don't think it will, but it will."
What was your experience dating someone rich? Let us know in the comments below!
Submissions have been edited for length/clarity.