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Go ahead, call me a furry in the comments. I dare you.
I want to be into Ganondorf, I really do. He's got a great bod. But overall, he looks like The Incredible Hulk had a baby with the Green Goblin and Gollum. I feel like he'd hiss while climaxing.
They're tied because, as brothers, it's only right. Maybe it's the height and the mustaches and the fact that they wear the first letter of their names on their hats, but I really can't see them in a sexual manner.
If we're going with non-human characters, Bowser sure has some masculine energy. But I prefer Donkey Kong. I feel like Donkey Kong has more potential to be a generous lover, while Bowser is definitely just an alpha male.
Falco's got a great smize, and those brows?? Something about it is just hot to me. The beak and weird feather fingers, though, unfortunately rank him toward the end.
He'd definitely be higher if he wasn't an anthropomorphic gorilla. Unfortunately, he loses points for that. But a human version of Donkey Kong?? Sign me up.
Mewtwo's not with the other weird alien-like characters because...there's just something different about him. Don't judge me. It's not so different from The Shape of Water, and you all thought that was sexy.
Okay, so Fox reminds me of Nick from Zootopia, and we ALL KNOW Nick is hot. Don't pretend he's not. Still, the tail's a bit of a turn-off for me.
Peach is a classic hottie, but I'm kind of grossed out that she goes for Mario, who is obviously ranked low. Plus, there's the whole constantly being kidnapped thing. Is it really worth it?
Roy is cute, but he reminds me of Marth and Link, but like...worse. I wish his hair was more of a natural red rather than Ariana Grande's color in Victorious. He's cool and all, but I'd definitely forget his name the next morning.
Mario? Eh. Dr. Mario??? Yum. A medical degree makes all the difference, y'all. And that white suit??? I'd sure love to peel it off.
Samus is a total badass. Some may fear some heavy machinery in the bedroom, but hey, if you're taking no machinery into the bedroom, it may be time to rethink.
That chiseled jawline could kill. However, I feel like he's a scarf-on-during-sex kind of guy, and I'm not into that. He'd value efficiency a little too highly as well.
Marth looks like Link's emo cousin, and I'm here for it. I don't feel like he'd be a good life partner, but just to smash? 100%.
Zelda alone is hot as hell, but Sheik??? There's nothing hotter than an alter ego. She knows how to handle herself and she can role-play. It doesn't get much better than that.
There is something so sexy about that gloved hand. I don't know, nor do I care about where it came from or what it is. That finger dexterity...I don't think I need to say any more here.
OBVIOUSLY, Link is first. There's no contest here. He's romantic, daring, and brave, and you just know he'd be good in bed. He could go alll night.