I don't make the rules. I simply report the facts.
But I digress. The reason I have brought you all here today is to talk about a certain picture of Chris Pine posted by Twitter user @Rachael_Conrad that has been making the rounds on the interwebs. A picture so hot, so steamy, so utterly NC-17 that it should not be shown without a warning.
Just listen to the original poster:
I know, it's a lot. Allow me to bring your attention to the most important parts: