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20 Victorian Christmas Traditions We Should Bring Back

Make Christmas Victorian again.

1. Having a long stand and a stare next to the Christmas tree.

2. Dogs stuck in holes.

3. Bird people.

4. Leaving children outside in the snow.

They're too loud and needy.

5. Being completely dead behind the eyes.

6. Getting festive advice from squirrels.

7. Not knowing about child labour laws.

8. Rats riding lobsters like sleighs and carrying Christmas lists.

9. Moustaches and foolishness.

10. Sad dancing.

11. Shit clothes.

12. Kidnapping.

13. Unending toil.

14. The grim spectre of the nightwatchman.

15. Riding goats.

16. Festive toil.

17. Possibly fascist Santa.

18. Putting on a brave face even though you hate your family.

19. Holding a boar's head directly over your head in triumph.

20. Whatever is going on here.