Reddit user u/2moms1bun posed the question, "Those who got married young (under 25), how is it going 10-plus years later?" The thread quickly filled with many stories of and perspectives on marriage at a young age. From happily-ever-afters to short-lived unions, here's what people shared:
1. "Got married at 20. We celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary next year. We traveled, bought a home, and thoroughly enjoyed each other for seven years before having a child. I think sometimes people get really caught up in the idea of having a wedding, and then they immediately have children. Don’t get me wrong, that’s totally great for some people. But my nugget of advice for all newly engaged/married couples is to really enjoy your marriage first. Give it the time it needs to flourish, because if things end up not working out, you can amicably split with no children involved or affected. Just my two cents."
2. "We've been best friends since high school. We met when I was 14 and he was 16. We dated when I was 18 and got married when I was 22. I am now 32 and he's 34, and four kids later, I forget we aren't teenagers anymore. We crawled out of poverty; broke away from our highly abusive, narcissistic, and racist families (we are a biracial couple) together; and broke generational curses with zero support systems. For better or worse...I always look forward to better with him, especially when it looks like every odd is stacked against us. One day we will get that vacation, baby. We just gotta hold on a little longer, and we will be laughing all the way to the bank, the same way we laughed together in the cardboard box!"
3. "Got married at 18, one week after high school graduation. Divorced at 21 after my third deployment when I learned she slept with my former stepdad. They’ve been married for 15 years now."
4. "I'd turned 20 less than a week before, and he'd just turned 19. We stayed married for five miserable years and had two kids before I asked for a divorce. It truly was misery the entire time. We've been divorced for over 10 years, and there's an ocean between us. We have a great sibling-like relationship now."
5. "Got married at 23. Over 20 years later, the kids are grown and we're still together and happy. Our kids have actually thanked us at different points for still being together because their friends always had messed-up family situations and we didn't. It's not always easy. If you start from a place of, 'We said for as long as we live, and we mean it,' then solving marital arguments/problems promptly, fairly, and lovingly becomes the most important thing in life."
6. "I married my high school sweetheart when I was 23 and he was 25 after we'd dated for nine years. We just celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary and are expecting our first kiddo in a couple of months. We started seeing each other when we were young, and we sort of shaped each other's personality. We are still independent people and definitely have our own likes/dislikes/hobbies/etc., but we do share a lot of interests, and there is an inherent comfort and understanding between us, since we have now been together for over half of our lives."
7. "Married at 22. I was too immature to make such a decision. I woke up one morning and looked at my sleeping wife and said to myself, Who is this person, and how and why am I even here? We divorced, and I'm happily remarried."
8. "Married at 25, now divorcing at 47. Communication is key. Try to argue a little, too. We never did."
9. "Married at 19, and still married to the same guy at 63. For all of the ups and downs of our marriage, there is still great love there. BUT I do wish that I had experienced a more independent adult life, since I never went to college and I also went directly from my parents’ house to my married house. Also, in 1980, it was so much more the norm to get married rather than live together, so there was that pressure, too, to get married before settling down."
10. "Married 30 years. Still happy. Life changes and gives you different challenges, and it's great to have a real partner to meet them with you. I just noticed that he's getting a little silver in his hair, and I thought, What a privilege that I'm still here with him to see it. Maybe that's stupid, but that's how I feel."
11. "Married at 18, and been together 20-plus years. We're still happily married. I love that man; he's my rock. We have three kids, two with special needs, and instead of pulling us apart, it has brought us closer together. We've had a few issues (mostly because we both grew up in conservative homes with traditional gender roles, and we had to negotiate that quagmire to get to a healthier place), but for the most part, we are super close, he writes me love notes on the bathroom mirror, and we spend all our free time together. He's truly my best friend. BUT when we got married, we just 'settled down.' We live in the same small town, and neither of us finished college. We've worked a series of jobs (not a career, just jobs to pay the bills). We don't have much of a social life outside of our small friend group (whom we rarely see face-to-face). We are happy in our little home, but when we became adults, our world never got bigger."
"We aren't much different from who we were as broke teenagers. We don't go on grand adventures, and we don't have fun stories from past vacations/times in our lives. I feel like we skipped out on the whole 'adventure' part of being adults and went straight to the 'old, boring, bill-paying' middle-aged years. Maybe it would have been different if we hadn't had kids right away. Honestly, we had them early, thinking that we'd be empty nesters by our mid-40s, but due to life's circumstances (specifically my kids' special needs, which we never could have planned for), this is going to be our forever.
"Honestly, I think I got lucky in my choice of partner. I was a depressed teen in a bad situation, and I hopped on the first lifeboat out. It was 100% luck that he ended up being such a great guy, because I honestly did not have the best handle on what a healthy relationship was supposed to look like. We were just very, very lucky."
12. "Got hitched at 21, and it lasted for four years. As soon as the ink was dry on the marriage license, the real abuse began. We separated for six months before filing, and while waiting for our court date, I met someone new. My ex was already seeing someone (whom he cheated with), so I didn't feel bad dating. That 'someone new' is watching TV in the living room right now. We'll celebrate 24 years of marriage in May. He's a peach, and I'm a very lucky woman to have him."
13. "Married at 23 and divorced by 27. He wanted to move back to his hometown. I fought it kicking and screaming. I was basically told to go or kick rocks. I went. I fell into a deep, dark depression from the lack of support from my husband and his family. I went home and filed for divorce. He had a new girl moved in before I could even file. That was 10 years ago. Took a lot of time for myself, then I finally met the man of my dreams. We got married a year ago and have one child together. My ex-husband is now in the sex offender registry. No idea why."
14. "We were in the same dorm and met on her first day of college. Instant connection. We started dating officially like three days later. We got married at 22 and 21. Now, 14 years later, we have three kids, including newborn twins. Life is as good as can be."
15. "I've been with my wife since high school. After 16 years, two miscarriages, and one child later, this woman still greets me at the door when I come home. We can still sit around and laugh about anything and everything. We understand we are a couple, but we are also individuals, so we don’t take away from each other's hobbies but, rather, celebrate them and grow them. I buy her crocheting things and she gets me gaming stuff. I work and she stays home, but she only wants to stay home until our kid is more capable of being alone. We’ve won big and we’ve lost big together."
"During COVID, we lost our house and all our things. I went into a deep depression, and she talked me out of working and encouraged me to stay home. It took me a while to adjust, but I stayed home for a couple of years, and all she did was love me more. Our role switch was dope. I kept the house together. I missed the first years of my daughter's life, so when COVID happened and I started to stay home, it seemed like a reward because I was able to further build my relationship with my little girl.
"We are nowhere near where we want to be. It’s hard to go back when you’ve reached the proverbial 'top' and then lost it all, but now we’re in a familiar city and we’re rebuilding together. More than anything, I’m glad I didn’t let depression win. She’s been worth every bit of this life, and thankfully, I’ve been able to reciprocate."
16. "We're together 10 years later. Got married at 22 and 24, and it's going better than ever! I do not recommend early marriage, though. At the very least, don't do it if you're resistant to bringing in a therapist and learning new communication tools. My husband and I grew into completely different people as we came into ourselves and started unpacking the less-than-healthy lessons and relationship models our parents imparted to us. We just lucked out that our compromises and our efforts in couples therapy could help us get back on the same page and make us happy again. It took a lot of conflict and disagreements to get to that point, though, and I wouldn't wish that stress on anyone. Also, the standards you set in your early relationship are the standards that will carry throughout the relationship."
"I'm lucky that my husband has always taken responsibility for maintaining our home and performing house labor. The only other people I knew who got married around the same time ended up divorced, largely because the woman thought love was going to motivate the dude, but he thought his only obligation to their marriage was to make money and take on part of the home labor."
17. "Got married at 23 and became parents at 24. We're now 15 years in, and we’re doing fine. He’s still my best friend and we rarely fight. We started dating at 17 and 18, so it’s not as if it was a short relationship. Honestly, I’m sure part of the reason we’re never going to get divorced is that neither one of us has any desire at all to date again. It sounds terrible."
18. "I got married at 18, decided to leave at 19, then found out I was pregnant, so I stayed. I tried to make it work, had another kid at 23, then asked for a divorce at 25. It was finalized in 1992. I have not remarried because that one was enough for 10 lifetimes."
19. "Not only did I marry young, but I married my first boyfriend. He was long distance for three years before we even physically met. He's from Kazakhstan and I'm American. We are still happily married, and we're going back to Kazakhstan to visit his family soon. He stayed by my side through my cancer treatments, and he's been incredibly kind to me."
20. "Married at 26. I knew at the time that it wasn’t a perfect match, but people kept saying no relationship is perfect, so we forced it. They were wrong. We divorced 10 years later, and now I’m with the most perfect person I’ve ever met. If you’re not 100%, don’t get married — 80% or 90% isn’t good enough."
21. "We met and started dating in eighth grade at age 14, got married at 23, and will be celebrating our 16-year anniversary this year. When you find the right person to make a team with, it’s easy to wake up every day and look forward to life with her!"
22. "We've been together since we were 15 and 14, and we got married at 23 and 22. We're now 50 and still in love and happy. All marriages have their tough times, and ours is no exception, but we always make the effort to work through it rather than running. It could be also because we both come from divorce and don't want that for us or our kids."
23. "Both of us got married under 25. We'll be married 17 years later this year. It's going well, but kids and work take their toll. We just try to communicate as best we can and love each other as much as we can. I can tell you that she's the best thing that ever happened to me. I can't imagine life without her. I can't imagine loving someone more than I love her."
24. "Next year, I turn 32 and will celebrate my 10th anniversary. I lucked out on having an amazing partner who has changed alongside me without falling out of love. I do wish I had allowed myself more time to be a fun, single bachelor before my marriage, though. But I’m sure some people would happily trade their wild stories and memories for the stability and comfort I have now."
25. "I was less than three months from my 25th birthday when I got married. I was too young emotionally and didn’t listen to my gut or pay attention to the red flags. We divorced 16 years later. It should have been sooner, but I had to grow up and realize the issues and then get the nerve to leave. That was seven years ago, and I love myself so much more than back then. Still single, and I’m not settling for less than I’m worth."
26. "Married at 19 and still together after 34 years. Not gonna say it's a perfect partnership, but we both roll with the changes. It started out with him working and me at home with our son. Now I'm working full time and he's the househusband. To tell you the truth, he's better at it than I was."
27. "I married when I was 19 and my husband was 21. We just celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary. It's going well, I'd say. There is nothing better than going through life with your best friend by your side. We've raised two kids and own a home and two dogs, and now that the kids are grown, we can mess around with our hobbies to our hearts' content. I have multiple health issues, and he has been my rock throughout the 28 years since my multiple sclerosis diagnosis. It hasn't always been easy, and we do get on each other's nerves now and again, but we always get past the rough parts. Jealousy and insecurity are things of the past. Learning to trust and communicate was difficult for me, coming from a childhood filled with domestic violence, and he was up to the challenge and helped me get past a lot of my childhood issues and fears of abandonment."
"We've supported each other through health problems, job loss, and the loss of both of his parents, my grandparents (they raised me after my mom was murdered), and both of my younger sisters. Knowing my other half is always there to reach out to at any time is comforting in a way I never expected. I love him more with each passing year."
28. "Married at 23 and will be married 19 years this year. It's going great; he's my best friend. We have two kids out of the house and two still at home (one in college and one in high school). It's fun planning for retirement and being able to travel now that the kids are older (sometimes with them, sometimes without). It wasn't always easy, and we did marriage counseling twice, but our love never wavered and we meant our vows."
29. "I had just turned 24 and she was 22. I told her right off the bat that I loved her and was going to marry her, and we eloped about a month later. We celebrated our 23rd anniversary in December. We have a son and are still very much in love with each other. I’ve done a lot of dumb things in my life, but getting married is the smartest thing I’ve done. Unfortunately, she is very sick and will only get worse as time goes on, but I wouldn’t change our time together for anything. I love her, and being with her is the best thing that has ever happened to me."
30. "I was 19 and he was 20. I was four months pregnant. We were planning on getting married when we found out I was pregnant. People made bets we wouldn’t last five years, then 10 years. We just celebrated 40 years. My two oldest sisters and younger brother are divorced. My next-oldest sister literally hates me and punishes me, throwing my pregnancy and sex before marriage in my face, still, 40 years later. I don’t take it personally because I know her bitter, twice-divorced self just can’t handle that we’ve done well and she is still struggling."
"I’m not saying we haven’t seen a lot of ups and downs in 40 years, because we have seen a LOT. There’s been a LOT of crap, a LOT of great stuff, a lot of laughs, and a lot of boring times. We've been through two kids, three grandkids, lots of jobs, vacations, fights, arguments, joy, sex, dry spells, love, nights on the couch, nights away, and nights intertwined. We’ve been through practically everything together. Love and loss. And here we are, STILL.
"Are we still 'in love' with each other? I don’t know. Some days yes, some days no. Sometimes we can’t stand each other. But here we are...40 years."
31. "We met at 21, had a daughter at 23, got married at 24, and divorced at 29. I had two more kids and am currently remarried. My ex-husband and I were both very young and not ready for what we did. After years together, we grew apart. I changed and he didn't. That was part of the problem. He is a 21-year-old in the body of a 37-year-old."
32. "My husband and I were both 25 when we got married. We had been together since age 18 and 19, had our daughter at 21, and got married at 25. It’s going fairly well, by all accounts, but not without any problems or things to work through. It helped that we'd already had our daughter, had already been living together, and already agreed on financial stuff long before we even talked about marriage. I think the biggest piece of advice or wisdom I have is to find a partner who is willing to let you grow, someone who sees you in any season of life and wants to be around you, and someone who will let you grow and change."
"There are huge changes that happen after age 25, and even more after you turn 30. If you are with someone who is expecting the same old you, it’s never going to work, no matter what age you were when you got married. Marriage means constantly and actively choosing that person over and over again, every day, in every part of your lives together."
33. "Met at 21, married at 24. We had a ROUGH decade together with good times sprinkled in, along with a couple of kids, and miraculously, it's now a dream marriage after I told him I was filing for divorce at the end of last year. I'm as shocked as you are, but very happily so. He saw he was going to lose everything and completely changed for the better, and now he says he's never been happier in his life. But I'd still recommend that younger people wait until they're at least in their late 20s to marry (at the earliest)."
34. "We got together at 18, and we lasted for 10 years. He wanted to live a single life, and I gave it to him."
35. And last: "We are 40. We started dating at 16 in 2000 and got married in our 20s in 2009. We have two kids. I love him very much and think he is a pretty amazing husband overall. But I do sometimes think that picking your 'forever' at a young age isn’t great. I think we both could have found people we have more in common with. We were just teens/young adults who didn't want to go through the heartache of breaking up for good. We would split and get back together frequently until we had a kid together. We love each other, but sometimes I think we both could have done better if we hadn't tried so hard to stick it out. But that’s okay. I’m happy if he is my forever."
Did you get married young? Are you still with your partner? We want to hear your story. Tell us in the comments!
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.