Reddit user u/fuzzyloulou recently posed the question: "Married people of Reddit, what's something you just hate about your in-laws?" "Hate" is a pretty strong word, but most people responded with some genuine grievances they have with their in-laws' behavior. Here's what people shared:
1. "My MIL isn’t too nice to the kids. Granted, she has 15 grandkids, but you can tell which ones she likes more...and which she likes less. My kids are in the middle."
2. "Their concept of time. They're all always shamelessly late to everything. And, they act like it's a cardinal sin to be early. They think they're 'early' if they stroll in just in the nick of time. For example, I've told them, 'We have to be there at 7:00, and it's a 20-minute drive, so we should leave by 6:35 at the latest. So, you need to be at our house at 6:30 so we can load the car.' 'Why so early? I'll be at your house at 6:45.' Then, they show up at 6:55 and can't understand why I'm angry. And, we get to where we're supposed to be at 7:15, they can't understand why everyone there is mad. At least my husband has gotten better about it. He still hates to be anywhere early, but he plans and takes steps to be on time, not late."
3. "My MIL treats her son like a baby. She also says things like, 'No one can love you like I love you,' and seems to assume I’m just using her son for money and childcare…because she was like that when she was raising her kids. Other than that, she’s a super funny and charismatic person. I try to give her the benefit of the doubt, as she’s just a protective mom, but I can say I will not be treating my children or in-laws like that."
4. "The way they travel. They constantly need to overpack, shop for stuff to take home, etc., and it always results in, like, half a dozen overweight suitcases and carry-ons that they then ALWAYS have to reorganize to handle the weight, and they ALWAYS expect everyone in the group to pack light to accommodate in case they have to dump their stuff on you. I hate it, and it ticks me off every time."
5. "My MIL? I love her; she's great. My FIL? He cheated on my MIL with her sister, and still sees said sister on a weekly basis while somehow still remaining married to my MIL. He bought himself and the sister a new car while my MIL drives a 20-year-old F-150. When he's home, all he does is drink Budweiser from 11:00 a.m. on and watch TV. And, he complains about everyone else in the family. He doesn't come to his grandkids' birthday parties, and instead just hands us cash to go buy something and to say it's from him. On several occasions, he's been at nice dinners and gotten drunk and belligerent to the point of embarrassing everyone with him."
6. "The way they come over to my house unannounced. They just show up, then get mad at me for being in the shower or not at home because I’m running errands. I know I’m a stay-at-home mom, but dang, I still have to go run errands outside the house. I also don't like the way they insist they can have our baby whenever they please, without our permission."
7. "The gossiping about us to anyone who will listen. And, the guilt trips. Every single guilt trip tactic to get us to drag our family of four across the country to go see them. Also, they were absolute trash parents to my husband. They both allowed physical, mental, and verbal abuse to run rampant, and now have the audacity to expect a relationship with their adult child."
8. "I absolutely love my in-laws, but compared to my family, they are REALLY loud. Like, instead of taking turns talking, they just talk louder over each other until someone listens. I leave with a headache, and that includes the times I sneak to an empty room for peace."
9. "They have four kids, and the only boy is their favorite. They ignore their daughters, which includes my wife. The heartbreak she feels every time they blow her off to go spend more time with their son is gut-wrenching. They took him to Vegas on her birthday two years in a row."
10. "They are terrible with money and have tried to drag my immediate family down with them. I've had to stop acting like an ATM for them, and they're resentful that we won’t support their BS anymore."
11. "My FIL called my wife and her three sisters 'whores' all while standing in MY house. Reason, you ask? They all got married outside of the Catholic faith. We haven’t spoken in six years. Best six years of my life."
12. "My MIL still blames me for moving her daughter away and can't believe we moved for better economic opportunities 11 years ago. She will call my wife and cry almost every other night about how she doesn't know how much time she has left, and she refuses to visit, even when we offer to pay the travel expenses. She puts on this poor me sob story every time we visit. My GOD, just STFU!"
13. "I judge my step-MIL because she posts EVERYTHING on Facebook. I swear she can’t take a poop without posting."
14. "My MIL refuses to discuss anything that bothers her. She just goes dead silent for a moment, then pivots to a different subject."
15. "The number one thing is that they are drama vampires. They can’t live without it. Everything is about them, and if it isn’t, it will be soon. They are cartoonishly childish, and it’s as ridiculous as it is sad. I feel terrible for my spouse and her siblings. Every family get-together is a mess. Number two is that they can’t make a plan without overcomplicating the ever-loving crap out of it, which my wife has inherited."
16. "When we go to my in-laws, we never leave the house. We sit in the den, watch TV 12 hours a day, and listen to my FIL crap on anything and everything he sees on the idiot box. We finally told them that the condition for our coming was to turn off Fox News. It's not just because he's 84 and a grumpy old man. He's been doing this for the past 30 years. Everybody and everything is stupid, except for him. It's just this constant stream of negativity. My MIL isn't much better. She will sit there and talk about everybody else under the sun and how stupid those people are. I've started leaving for a couple of hours for a sanity break. I have to demand my children go visit them once a year."
17. "How critical they are of my partner. He is loving, kind, smart, and unique. Nothing he ever does will ever be enough for them. As a result, he has major anxiety and perfection issues. He’s hard on himself and constantly apologizes over minor things. I wish he knew how awesome he is. For this reason, I’ve chewed out both his dad and mom, but they were clueless. What issues? I’d love to be close to them if things were different, but I see how dysfunctional they are and am totally okay with zero contact."
18. "My MIL is the cheapest woman I have ever met. I have hundreds of stories and examples. Last Christmas, she gave me a can of nuts from Goodwill. She said she didn't feel comfortable getting us a wedding gift. She won a cruise to Alaska, and she took our son, which was very sweet, but she refused to pay for anything during the trip. They ate sandwiches in the room and spent most days walking around Juneau. He wanted to come home on day two. I have fixed things, helped her move, mowed her lawn, and a dozen other things. She has never once bought dinner as a thank you or to celebrate a special event. I remember years ago, we had a bad time and asked if we could live in her house for two months. She insisted on charging us rent. She has missed funerals and weddings because she will not pay for travel or a hotel. I will stop now because I could go on forever."
19. "How fake they are. They just care about their image and how they appear to others. Very little, if anything, is genuine about them."
20. "Mine used my wedding as their own personal photoshoot, often taking their son/my groom away to snap family pictures. They then posted all the pictures of themselves in the group chat, and only one of me, which was just of my back at the altar. They also managed to get a photo of just the groom cutting the cake alone, without me in the photo, though we were obviously standing close together. I don’t think they were malicious; they're just very self-centered people with zero social awareness."
21. "My wife’s dad is a very 'I’m right, you’re wrong' kind of person. If he’s not right, he refuses to admit it and will just leave and not speak to you for a long time. Then, he'll show back up and act like nothing happened."
22. "They are good people, but they are also the pickiest eaters I have ever met. It has to be genetic. Their entire diet consists of Rice-A-Roni, overcooked, baked chicken, and Ragu pasta. They will not venture out and try anything that they deem too 'exotic' or potentially mildly spicy. For example: Chicken tacos sound too wild for them. It has to be Taco Bell-style ground beef."
23. "I get along great with my MIL and FIL as individual people and have close relationships with both, but good god, they have a horrible relationship. It’s really awkward sometimes. I have no idea how or why they are still together. They literally hate each other. Early in our relationship, I attempted to gently inquire about what I had observed after getting to know my wife’s parents a bit. Before I even finished asking, she casually said, 'Yeah, they should have divorced a long long time ago. We (her siblings) all think they need to give it up.'"
24. "The constant criticism. I married their only son, and nothing I do is good enough. My house is never clean enough, my 1-year-old doesn’t 'behave,' and my cooking sucks. The passive aggressiveness is so overwhelming."
25. "There's nothing I really hate about my in-laws, but my MIL occasionally says some things that give me pause when she's in the room. For example, she wished me a happy birthday recently, to which I casually replied, 'Just another trip around the sun.' My comment resulted in a 20-minute lecture about how the sun actually orbits the Earth, based on her visual observation of it rising in the east and setting in the west every day. I often wonder how much of my partner's childhood trauma is a direct result of her mother's 'unusual' beliefs."
26. Finally: "My husband's mother and two sisters really went out of their way to make me feel unwanted and disliked early in our marriage. They judged me, gave me the cold shoulder, and criticized everything I did. Joke's on them. My husband and I have been married for 30 years. So, I learned a lesson: Screw the naysayers. Haters gonna hate."
Ooooof. In-laws can certainly be tricky! Do you have in-laws who do something that drives you bonkers???
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.