"Gossip Girl" Was The Most Ridiculous Show In History. I'll Prove It With These 19 Questions

Make it make sense.

If you were a Gossip Girl fan, you've probably heard that there's a reboot in the works.

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Now, let me get this straight: I LOVE Gossip Girl; it's my go-to for a good binge-watch. But now it's coming back, I have to ask some very important questions, like...

Pssst: If you're saving GG for a binge-watch, there are spoilers ahead!

1. What was Constance Billard's school uniform?

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Apparently "dress code" doesn't apply to private school...

2. How were they all drinking in clubs at the age of like 15?

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A completely inaccurate representation of underage drinking.

3. If Rufus was so against the elite, why did he send kids to private school on the Upper East Side?

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Make it make sense, Rufus.

4. How did Nate remain such a central character throughout the entire series?

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All he did was sulk.

5. When Bart faked his death, who the hell did they bury?

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???

6. And why was Dan at Bart's fake funeral?

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He was everywhere.

7. How did Chuck get away with being an underage club owner?

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One of many, many, maaaany questions I have about ole Chuck.

8. What happened to Lily and Rufus's secret son?

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One quick family reunion and then *bam* he's gone.

9. Why was Chuck's reaction to getting rejected by Blair to live like a pauper in Paris?

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Dramatic much?

10. Did they all just drop out of university?

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That expensive education was wasted on them.

11. How did none of the van der Woodsens notice that Charlie's face completely changed?!

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The whole stolen identity thing doesn't really work when you're related to the person.

12. Why didn't Dan get a paternity test when Georgina turned up with his "son"?

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Georgina was Jerry Springer material, people.

13. How on earth did Nate become the editor-in-chief of the Spectator?

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He was boring and he (seemingly) dropped out of uni. The doors never stop opening for these rich kids.

14. Dan and Blair: What the hell was that?!

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The definitive moment where the plot went completely off the rails.

15. How and why did everyone read Dan's book in like one day?

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No one cared about Lonely Boy, then all of a sudden they're bookworms? Come on.

16. What really happened with Chuck's mum?

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The entire Bass family was built on lies.

17. Why did Serena marry Dan after everything he did?

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He literally told the world she had STDs.

18. Also, they were super rich: Why did they have their wedding in their house?

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Maybe Dan took after Rufus when it came to the purse strings...

19. And finally, why was Dan so damn obsessed with Serena?

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No one can tell me that Joe from You wasn't at least a little bit inspired by Dan.