1.
What’s the worst typo in an email you spotted immediately after hitting send? I think mine has to be: “I appreciate that you’re very busty.”
2.
star war seating in movie a church 🤝 pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew
3.
4.
In celebrity the chase the chasers goal is literally to stop dying kids getting charity money
5.
as soon as tipping point finishes
6.
Do you lot remember come outside when that woman used to fly to Tesco n stuff in her plane? and now we have a climate crisis thanks pippin
7.
Can't sleep so I made this.
8.
My worst nightmare is Spotify randomly throwing out an Ed Sheeran song whilst I'm driving and then I crash and die but it keeps playing so the first responders think I was an Ed Sheeran fan and they tell my mum and I end up being cremated to fucking Shape of You.
9.
Good to have a vegetarian option
10.
when u ask ur boyfriend to buy u tampons
11.
Does my mum not get tired of waking up in the morning and shouting ?
12.
Blue tick Twitter getting ready to tell the internet about their career achievements on A Level result day
13.
Every now and then, I remember this utterly chaotic headline (from 2014!) and completely lose my shit
14.
Tesco, Sainsbury’s, Asda: - boring - overpriced - no Special Buys aisle Aldi: - fun for the whole family - copyright law? Never heard of her - you want a lilo, a battering ram and a haunted pinecone? We got u covered
15.
In the best yet things-my-nephews-have-done, the 7 year old ordered a burger today, and was asked if he wanted it medium. "Could you please make it very large?" he asked. Told that the choice was between medium or well done, he asked if the chef could do the best he could. Yes.
16.
The hottest of takes
17.
My period tracker apps the same colour as the trainline one. Just showed a bemused inspector that I’m ovulating.
18.
When your mum finds love with a waiter in Zante
19.
Want to feel old? This is what Macaulay Culkin looks like now.
20.
when he sends u dirty texts 😈
21.
Whenever people ask me what British culture means to me I just send them this
22.
How many Greggs does South Shields need? https://t.co/cfHi5uFbGx