1.
my mom pulled down my tube top to cover my stomach and my titties fell out so now everybody at sams club knows what my titties look like
2.
8 years ago today I butt dialed my mom during sex... worst part wasnt even her finding out I was having sex it was that she thought I was somewhere dying in a ditch... Easily most embarrassing moments of my life, I’m glad timehop is here to remind me of it 🤟😅🤢
3.
My worst date will always be the one where I paid for the cinema ticket and snacks and my date reached out for the change from the cashier and put it in his pocket.
4.
I work at a bank and this lady came in with a $150,000 check and to make conversation I was like "oh wow I wish I had one of these" then she deadass was like "it's a life insurance check. I would rather have the person." https://t.co/3FXUdPdO88
5.
You might think you have the fear this morning but my pal sent SIX snapchats to her ex of her signing Whitney Houston I have nothing 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
6.
I JUST ASKED SIRI IF A CERTAIN BOY WOULD EVER TEXT ME AND SHE SENT A TEXT SAYING WILL YOU EVER TEXT ME TO HIM. My funeral will be held at 8pm this Thursday.
7.
GUYS I WAS IN THE ELEVATOR ABOUT TO PLAY DDAENG ON MY HEADPHONES WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN A THING POPPED UP THAT SAID “connect to airpods” BUT I DONT EVEN HAVE AIRPODS, SO I ACCIDENTALLY CLICKED IT AND STARTED PLAYING DDAENG IN A RANDOM PERSONS AIRPODS IM EMBARRASSED
8.
People really gotta stop putting IG polls on their stories in the area where I’m tapping to get through them. Just accidentally voted “no bitch” where some girl i don’t know asked if we liked her new bangs🙃
9.
one time this guy i knew tweeted “like if you got a fat ass” and i wanted to see who liked it so i pressed the count and accidentally liked the tweet and my phone was bugging and wouldn’t let me unlike it sooo yeah i deleted my account and started this one
10.
woooowww i really just flashed a tiddy tryna put my suitcase up in the overhead compartment.....Thankfully the shorty i flashed was breast feeding nd was like "well i'm not one to say anything"
11.
I was getting ready today and took a photo of my hair to show a friend, and realised after I hit send that my bare arse was shown because of the angle I took the pic. So yeah, today I sent accidentally sent a nude to someone.
12.
My friend got dumped last night and this morning we had a group facetime call where everyone shared how much we hated him and it was about two hours of going through what garbage this man is. At one point I said NASA is still looking for his hairline And now they're back together
13.
my life is actually over, I just found out when you screen record someones snapchat it says you took a screenshot of it.....bout to delete the whole app
14.
I accidentally sent this to my little sisters first grade teacher but I meant sick omg
15.
I met someone today who worked for Triple A and I thought they said Chick-fil-A so after 15 min of talking, I asked what his specific job was and he said roadside assistance and I was like wow chick-fil-a is unmatched...then I asked how they make their sauce and then it got weird
16.
My roommate went on a bumble date and was nervous so decided to pound shots in her car once she got to the place they were meeting and the guy was parked next to her and watched her chug vodka for 5 minutes. Dating is rough.
17.
I just accidentally said "I love you" when hanging up with the auto shop guy, so I'm just going to leave my car there and buy a new one