1.
Reading Mog to my kid and just to say I’ve always loved this. The burglar gets busted but he still gets a cup of tea. No need to be uncivil about things.
2.
Still haunted by my GCSE German speaking exam when the examiner asked what I liked doing and I said reading and she asked what books I liked and I panicked and said the name of the only book I knew the title of in German. Yeah, that one.
3.
why is the best story of 2020 being ignored, is what i want to know
4.
Just got home to find my wife watching Teddy Sheringham dressed as a tree singing Evergreen by Will Young in front of a judging panel including Mr Chow from the Hangover. This is 2020. We are so f***ed 🤣🤣🤣
5.
I’m so jealous of people outside of Britain that have no idea what Sainsbury’s is because it’s fully ruined it for me
6.
Why was every school disco DJ like this
7.
A short story about how Rob Kardashian is like the painting in Dorian Gray and every time one of his sisters gets lip-fillers he withers in the attic that they hide him in.
8.
Wow I love Enya
9.
Leaving the Royal Family seems slightly easier than cancelling a BT Sport contract.
10.
At my funeral I want the priest to read out a long bit about how much I loved darts. I don’t love darts but my family and friends will be like “wow we never really knew him”.
11.
be honest lads why r u all actually like this
12.
the idea in my head vs. when I write it down
13.
14.
chumbawamba: we'll be singing, when we're winning british public: omg that is so us 😂
15.
hiya. just a little reminder: this is against our t&cs https://t.co/1bzuGagqvK
16.
