Skip To Content

    17 Times Archie Andrews From "Riverdale" Was Literally The Worst

    Jughead might be a Serpent, but Archie's the real snake.

    1. When he took his problems waaay too seriously.

    Veronica: my dad is in prison and my mom is conducting an illegal activity Betty: I think my parents are murderers and are in a blood feud with another family Jughead: I'm homeless and my dad is a part of a notorious criminal gang Archie: I wanna sing and play football!

    This was all a bit High School Musical. I mean, It's 2018, you can sing and play football.

    2. When he sold his guitar to buy Miss Grundy a bow for her cello.

    The CW / Via

    He sold the one thing that he needed to achieve his dreams of being a musician. Some would call it a grand romantic gesture, others would say it was kinda dumb.

    3. Then the many, many, times he acted like a fuckboy.

    The CW / Via

    4. Exhibit A: the time that he dropped Veronica as his singing partner, because he found a ~better option~.

    He sure knows how to make a girl feel special.

    5. Exhibit B: when he told Betty he loved her, but he just couldn't be with her.

    This is a modern take on the "it's not you, it's me" line. The classic fuckboy motto.

    6. But he was lowkey jealous when Betty and Jughead got together.

    The CW / Via Netflix

    Because Archie's a boy who wants it all.

    7. Let's not forget the time he kissed Cheryl while he was going out with Val.

    The CW / Via

    There's not a single girl in Riverdale who Archie hasn't managed to piss off.

    8. He also cancelled 4th of July plans with his bestie to ~hang out~ with his teacher.

    The CW / Via

    A friendly reminder that Archie's 16-years-old...

    9. Archie was basically responsible for breaking up the Pussycats.

    Not only is he a total fuckboy, but he's also the Yoko of Riverdale.

    10. He also acted like a total dick when Veronica didn't say "I love you" back to him.

    Maybe he wasn't being unreasonable here. I mean, who wouldn't wouldn't be in love with a guy that spends 24/7 sucking up to their dad? Every girl's dream.

    11. But he was officially crowned ~fuckboy of the year~ when he kissed Betty.

    The CW / Via

    Kissing your friend (who's in love with you), who also happens to be your best friend's ex is a dick move. Jughead might be a Southside Serpent, but Archie's the real snake here.

    12. Archie went on and on about his passion for music, only to completely change his ambitions to impress Hiram Lodge.

    The CW / Via Netflix

    We should've guessed he wasn't that serious about his music when he sold his guitar, but Archie's obsession with pleasing his girlfriend's dad is just weird.

    13. Let's not forget the time that he accepted a free car from Hiram, when he knew his dad wanted to fix up an old car with him.

    The CW / Via Netflix

    Who needs father-son bonding time when you've got a Pontiac, eh? Okay, so he eventually gave the car back, but still — where's the loyalty, Archie?!

    14. The whole Red Circle thing.

    The CW / Via

    This was a confusing plot twist — Archie went from being a dull Troy Bolton wannabe, and then all of a sudden he's a bootleg Batman? It makes no sense.

    15. When he tried to be a bad boy...

    The CW / Via Netflix

    Can we all take a moment to once again remember the fact that Archie is a 16-year-old boy.

    16. And it ended up going terribly, terribly wrong.

    The CW / Via Netflix

    Imagine trying to prove to everyone how much of a tough guy you are, and then you wind up being arrested for murder. Fragile masculinity is wild, guys.

    17. And finally, when he did whatever this was.

    The CW / Via

    We get it, Archie's ripped, and he can't let anyone forget that. Even when being topless makes absolutely zero sense to the plot line.

    Let's just hope we see more of the lovable Archie in Season 3, because theres only so much more of fuckboy Archie we can take.

    The Paley Centre For Media / Via

    TV and Movies

    Get all the best moments in pop culture & entertainment delivered to your inbox.

    Newsletter signup form