1.
I just aggressively removed two bottles of prosecco from our trolley, proclaiming crossly “Neither of us likes prosecco. It’s bloody horrible” The gentleman moved away from me at speed. We had not met before. It was neither my trolley nor my husband.
2.
Still haunted by my GCSE German speaking exam when the examiner asked what I liked doing and I said reading and she asked what books I liked and I panicked and said the name of the only book I knew the title of in German. Yeah, that one.
3.
Just witnessed a child in a zero waste shop yell ‘LENTILS’ before opening the lentil pipe and allowing them to gush forth. Chaos. Lentils everywhere
4.
I just innocently told my wife that for the past 8 years I’ve thought it was okay to put bobbles and hair pins in the bin if they’re just left lying around. Holy shit. What a moment.
5.
my three year old niece ordering the jacket potato then crying when it arrived because she thought it was a potato wearing a jacket was the highlight of my night like
6.
What’s the worst typo in an email you spotted immediately after hitting send? I think mine has to be: “I appreciate that you’re very busty.”
7.
My period tracker apps the same colour as the trainline one. Just showed a bemused inspector that I’m ovulating.
8.
My cousin got fired from Royal Mail on his first day cause he saw a guy in the toilets and said “ahhhhh you’re hiding too” and it was the regional manager LOOOOOOOOOOOOL
9.
I’ll never forget when someone tweeted how she was on a date with a guy & told him she liked his Michael jackson tattoo & he said “that’s my mum” yo I cried 😂😂
10.
Guys. Let me tell you what my manager did today. A grown woman, on 6 figure salary. Poured a cup of tea on her work laptop and the keyboard stopped working. I told her to put it in rice. So she went to M&S Please look at this
11.
I figured out why Nova had an attitude during our photo shoot 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😭😭💀💀💀💀💀
12.
It appears that my husband and I haven’t managed adaquately explain our relationship to the children. They thought we were brothers 🤔😂
13.
Boyfriend is having his hair cut. Stylist asked if we are an item or related. I said both. Nobody apart from me laughed. It’s awkward now.
14.
My dad’s mate overslept his alarm and had to get on a flight within an hour so he shoved all the clothes on his bed into his suitcase, but when he got to the airport he found out he’d packed his fucking cat AHAHAHAHAHHAHAH I’m not even lying😂😂😂😂
15.
My aunty keeps accidentally linking gay p*rn to me on instagram!
16.
Three years ago, I married the love of my life and my sister fell over