Making new friends is never easy — and maintaining the ones you have can feel like a one-way street at times. So, it's no surprise that Aussies are venting their frustration around building these relationships on the internet.
This Reddit thread by u/Professional-Can2248 summarised the sentiment perfectly. They wrote, "Why me? Am I the asshole? I have a beautiful family, loving husband and children, but no one wants to be my friend."
"I went from having a group of friends in high school, to having a small amount after turning 18. Now I don't even have a best friend."
"My husband always says he doesn't have many friends either and that he wouldn't hear from anyone unless he makes the first move. He tells me not to worry about it, but it breaks my heart. I have a very small group of friends that I thought were close to me, but they always exclude me.
Is anyone else in the same boat? Like what did I do wrong in life? Am I that negative, bitchy or just plain boring? I'll never know."
Here are the most insightful responses:
1. "Nah, mate. Life can get really busy and some people just aren't surrounded by people that they can make a bond with."
"We all have our own flaws, so it could just be you haven't clicked with anyone, and that's fine. Focus on your beautiful family, hobbies, dreams, etc. Being self assured is far more important than having friends (while they are a lovely addition to life)!"
2. "You need to make friends with people who have kids. People without kids often find it hard to make plans with those who have kids — so that's probably part of your being not invited to things."
"When you have friends with kids, you should be able to plan things relatively easily. Otherwise — who knows. Relationships are weird. Sometimes you'll just lose contact for no reason for years. Sometimes you'll lose contact with somebody for a reason, then come back later.
Sometimes you'll just forget they exist. ADHD is especially good for forgetting people exist."
3. "I lost all my friends after having kids. But my oldest is now school-age and it's been really nice talking to some of the other mums at pick-up and birthdays."
"I wouldn't say I'm friends with them, but it's at the point where if I see them out and about I'll go over to say hi. More than I've had with anyone for a long time."
—u/Ayertsatz
4. "Real friends are rare, but worth having. My wife passed away almost six years ago and my bestie six months later. Life has been pretty ordinary on my own."
"I have certainly found out that the few people I had thought were friends all disappeared when I was doing it tough. Loneliness is fucking hard and there is nothing I can do about it.
Don't fall into the trap of self-isolation. Get out and about if possible, you might not make a friend, but it is better to be out there rather than sitting around convincing yourself that you're just fine.
—u/joey2scoops
5. "I’m 48, disabled and in a small town. I was bullied by the manager in a local volunteer group. I left last year and I’m now a social pariah around here."
"She’s running around telling everyone I was the bully and sadly, many people believe it.
I have my chooks though! And I’m building a magpie army. Once I harness the power of the wild roo mob, no one — and I mean no one — will screw with me again."
6. "Reality is its not always easy to include people with kids into plans without having to alter them or go to more family friendly places. Parents generally hang with other parents because of this."
7. "You sound pretty cool to me. Maybe you're surrounding yourself with the wrong people."
—u/SilasFaust
8. "People suck. I've lost count the amount of times I’ve hit the reset button on friends and started again."
"I only have one friend from my school days. We rarely see each other — usually only when I go up to the old city we met and became friends in. I’ve given my all for people, kept their secrets and was the only one that didn’t owe them money — still cast aside like trash.
At least you've got a partner and kids. I'm single and have no one apart from the people I am leaving behind to move (back) to Australia."
—u/WalkindudeX
9. "Technology has killed relationships. Everyone is too inside their phones and relationships with people they don’t know arguing online and being envious of other peoples lives. It’s sad actually."
10. "I've found that every year that I age, it is more difficult to stay social. I'm 49 and single, so being social is really up to me as I don't have the concerns of a family or partner."
"I've also found that as each year passes, friends drift away, in many ways. Some move away and lose touch. Some change their social circle/group and no longer share anything with you. Others simply can't be bothered or are going through their own private hell. Take your time. Don't assume it is you. You may just be in a funk socially and need to reacquaint yourself with making friends again."
—u/Gnich_Aussie
11. And finally, "I find Australians are very friendly but not very welcoming. You can go out and meet some awesome people and have a great night and you will never see these people again."
"Even if they add you on social media. I'm in the same boat. I feel I have to make all the effort when I had my friend group. So I stopped and gave them six months. If not one of my circle contacted me in that whole time, I'd cut ties with them. I ended up cutting out about 99 percent of the people I know."
Do you find it hard to make friends or, if you've got friends, do you have any tips for putting yourself out there? Tell us in the comments below!
Note: Responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.