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The Definitive Ranking Of Australian Alcopops

Because how else would you know which alcohol-loaded-sugar-bomb is superior?

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17. Elevate Alcoholic Soda with Guarana

Can this drink even lift? Or will it just elevate you into a caffeine, sugar and alcohol induced frenzy?
Via danmurphys.com.au

Can this drink even lift? Or will it just elevate you into a caffeine, sugar and alcohol induced frenzy?

16. Raspberry Red Bear Vodka

Guaranteed to tint your tongue, teeth, and t-shirt bright red - this drink should come with stain removal instructions.
Via danmurphys.com.au

Guaranteed to tint your tongue, teeth, and t-shirt bright red - this drink should come with stain removal instructions.

15. Vodka Cruiser Pure Pinepple

To agree with the claim that this beverage is in fact pure pineapple, would be to ignore the fact this bottle is also filled with copious amounts of alcohol and enough bubbles to re-surface the Titanic.
Via danmurphys.com.au

To agree with the claim that this beverage is in fact pure pineapple, would be to ignore the fact this bottle is also filled with copious amounts of alcohol and enough bubbles to re-surface the Titanic.

14. UDL Lime & Soda Vodka

Because who needs an actual lime wedge when you could get yourself some artificial goodness?
Via danmurphys.com.au

Because who needs an actual lime wedge when you could get yourself some artificial goodness?

13. Bacardi Breezer Lime

There's more faux-lime over here, you guys!
Via danmurphys.com.au

There's more faux-lime over here, you guys!

12. Vodka Cruiser Mudshake

Because who in their right mind doesn't want to drink their alcohol with chocolate milk?
Via danmurphys.com.au

Because who in their right mind doesn't want to drink their alcohol with chocolate milk?

11. Smirnoff Ice Double Black & Guarana

If vodka is your poison of choice, consider this a near-lethal dose.
Via danmurphys.com.au

If vodka is your poison of choice, consider this a near-lethal dose.

10. Bacardi Breezer Raspberry

Raspberry - fun to spell, fun to say, extra fun to drink.
Via danmurphys.com.au

Raspberry - fun to spell, fun to say, extra fun to drink.

9. Vodka Cruiser Electric Pink

That an essentially fairy floss flavoured beverage has been discontinued will forever remain one of life’s biggest mysteries.
Via danmurphys.com.au

That an essentially fairy floss flavoured beverage has been discontinued will forever remain one of life’s biggest mysteries.

8. Smirnoff Ice Original

Further proof for those who argue the original is always the best.
Via danmurphys.com.au

Further proof for those who argue the original is always the best.

7. Vodka Cruiser Juicy Watermelon

Previously known simply as “melon” and green, not pink, this drink has come a long way, but has remained amazing.
Via danmurphys.com.au

Previously known simply as “melon” and green, not pink, this drink has come a long way, but has remained amazing.

6. UDL Green Apple Vodka

The true apple of your eye.
Via danmurphys.com.au

The true apple of your eye.

5. Midori Splice

A cocktail in a bottle! For the ultimate fancy pants occasion.
Via danmurphys.com.au

A cocktail in a bottle! For the ultimate fancy pants occasion.

4. Ruski Lemon

The Solo of the premixed world, your tastebuds are always in the mood for this fizzy bottle of fun.
Via danmurphys.com.au

The Solo of the premixed world, your tastebuds are always in the mood for this fizzy bottle of fun.

3. UDL Pineapple Vodka

Perfect for those who like pina coladas, but don't like paying $17 for a drink.
Via danmurphys.com.au

Perfect for those who like pina coladas, but don't like paying $17 for a drink.

2. Vodka Cruiser Guava

Because there aren't enough guava flavoured things in anyone's life.
Via danmurphys.com.au

Because there aren't enough guava flavoured things in anyone's life.

1. Smirnoff Ice Double Black

They say you should keep your friends close and your enemies even closer, which is why the Double Black is the premixed drink everyone has a story about.
Via danmurphys.com.au

They say you should keep your friends close and your enemies even closer, which is why the Double Black is the premixed drink everyone has a story about.