13 Things That Happen When Your Friend Is Nine Months Pregnant

You every single morning: "Today's the day. I can feel it".

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1. You start to clear your calendar weeks before your friend's due date, so you're not stuck somewhere when the baby comes.

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"Breakfast? Saturday? Um, I can't. Kate might be having her baby that day. The week after? Yeah, Kate might have it then too."

2. Every day you find a new excuse to text your friend, even though you both know you're just after baby updates.

4. And you start to make predictions that are based on literally nothing.

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"So, I just looked at my diary and this time last year we went to the beach, remember? And we saw that baby, remember? I just feel like today's the day. It would make so much sense."

7. You start taking note of everyone else in your life who's having babies, so you can predict who your friend's baby will be baby-friends with.

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Whether or not your pregnant friend knows these people or their offspring seems completely irrelevant.

9. You've searched "average labour time" more than once, so you know how to plan the day when it finally arrives.

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You ignore everyone who tries to remind you that "babies are unpredictable". They'll all be sorry when they're stuck at a Saturday breakfast with some non-baby chump.