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Posted on 1 Mar 2016

13 Things That Happen When Your Friend Is Nine Months Pregnant

You every single morning: "Today's the day. I can feel it".

1. You start to clear your calendar weeks before your friend's due date, so you're not stuck somewhere when the baby comes.

"Breakfast? Saturday? Um, I can't. Kate might be having her baby that day. The week after? Yeah, Kate might have it then too."

2. Every day you find a new excuse to text your friend, even though you both know you're just after baby updates.

"Hey, do you still have that book I loaned you last year? Oh, also, any signs of the bub yet?"

3. You become very aware of the date.

Paramount Pictures

"March 1. Now, that would be a good birthday."

4. And you start to make predictions that are based on literally nothing.

Warner Bros.

"So, I just looked at my diary and this time last year we went to the beach, remember? And we saw that baby, remember? I just feel like today's the day. It would make so much sense."

5. You can't help but talk about the baby to anyone who will listen.


You: "Yeah, my friend's actually having a baby."

Guy making your coffee: "So, skim or regular?"

6. You have already mentally planned the first photo you'll get with the baby.

No time will be wasted thinking of an Instagram caption.

7. You start taking note of everyone else in your life who's having babies, so you can predict who your friend's baby will be baby-friends with.

Gyan Yankovich

Whether or not your pregnant friend knows these people or their offspring seems completely irrelevant.

8. Every time your phone buzzes you let out a tiny scream.

OVO Sound

"FFS Optus, I know my phone bill is overdue. I am EXPECTING A BABY OVER HERE."

9. You've searched "average labour time" more than once, so you know how to plan the day when it finally arrives.


You ignore everyone who tries to remind you that "babies are unpredictable". They'll all be sorry when they're stuck at a Saturday breakfast with some non-baby chump.

10. You start smiling at stranger babies on the street.


For practice!

11. And when you see your friend, you always talk to the baby.



12. After some time, you begin to think that perhaps the baby is never coming.

Gyan Yankovich

It's 2016, after all. How can a doctor's prediction be so wrong?

13. But once you remind yourself that it's literally got to be born eventually, you go back to waking up the same way every morning.


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