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22 Extremely Important Questions I Need Americans To Answer

I need answers, y'all.

1. Who decided that "yep," "sure," and "you bet" are appropriate responses to a "thank you"?

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Why can't you just be polite and say that I'm welcome?

2. Why does every state have its own laws and random rules?

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I mean, I can buy weed in Oregon but I can't pump my own gas? Right...

3. Seriously, why is it that in some states you can buy beer in a pharmacy but not in an actual liquor store?


Pharmacies are meant to sell things that make you healthier.

4. Why are your soft drink sizes so crazy big?

@roguethought / Instagram / Via

In Australia, our large is the size of your small. Surely nobody can actually finish your large?!

5. Why do your social security cards look like they were cut off the back of a cereal box?

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If they're so damn important, why don't they at least laminate them?

6. Why do you add on sales tax at the register?

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Wouldn't it be easier for everyone if it was just included on the price tag?

7. Why do you give your coins such confusing names?

Swisshippo / Getty Images

Nickel? Dime? Penny? Why not just call it by how many cents it's worth?

8. Why do you refer to a whole pizza as a pie?

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A pie is a pie. A pizza is a PIZZA.

9. Why are there so many TVs in your bars and restaurants?

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I totally understand having them in sports bars, but they're everywhere!

10. And why do you call your main meal an "entrée," and an entrée an "appetizer"?


Do you know that the word "entrée" literally means "entrance", as in the entrance dish to your meal?

11. Why do your toilets have so much water in them pre-flush?

Roland Tanglao / Flickr / Via Flickr: roland

I fear the splash!

12. And what's the deal with the gaps in your toilet stalls?

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Nobody needs to make eye contact with someone while they're on the loo.

13. Why do you have to make American versions of TV shows that are already really great?


Everyone else in the world manages to enjoy your TV shows, as American as they are — why can't you try and appreciate ours?

14. Why do you care about college sports so much?

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I'm not judging! I actually just don't get it?

15. Why do you love drive-thrus so much?

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ATMS, restaurants, pharmacies — don't you want to stretch your legs sometimes?

16. What are grits?

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If they're not oatmeal, what the hell are they?

17. And what's the deal with biscuits and gravy?

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They sure don't look like biscuits to me.

18. Why don't any of you own electric kettles?

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They would make your lives so much easier!

19. Why do you write the date starting with the month, then the day, then the year?


Since a day is the shortest, it should totally come first tbh.

20. What do you have against the metric system?

Rede Globo

It's almost like you want your lives to be harder.

21. And do you realize how confusing using Fahrenheit is?


In Celsius, zero degrees is the point that water freezes and 100 is where it boils.

22. And why are you all so obsessed with fall?

@trishj27 / Instagram / Via

I. Just. Don't. Get. It.

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