Australia is one damn crazy place to grow up. But you did it, and you did it well, so it's now your job to pass on everything you know to the next generation.
1. So when they ask: "Have you ever...", and you interrupt them mid-sentence with "...ever felt like this?", they know exactly what you're talking about.
2. Because the children need to know why there are times you pronounce "me" and "please" a little differently to the way their teachers do.
3. And they really need to understand why their parents swim like this every time they're at the beach.
4. The children need to know what to say when someone has got to be kidding themselves.
5. They need to know what to say when someone's being downright ~terrible~.
6. They need to know how to calm someone the hell down when they're getting a little carried away.
7. And what to say when convincing a friend that they really should treat themselves.
8. The kids need to know how to properly defend themselves, using the best of Australian insults.
9. They must know how to express themselves when someone's got their knickers in a knot.
10. It's important that the next generation know how to appropriately verbalise frustration.
11. And how to properly describe something when it's cooler than ~cool~.
12. The future of this country must understand that true Aussies don't do things on a small scale.
13. They need to know how to appropriately appreciate this country's sweet, fresh air.
14. The sweet babies need to know why sometimes, chopping the dinosaur is the only option.
15. And what suggestion to make when someone honestly just can't make up their damn mind.
16. When they're old enough to drink, they need to know how to properly pronounce the names of every different kind of white wine.
17. The kids need to know why everyone named Jessica will always be told to go to bed.
18. And, of course, the next generation - the ones that will grow up to be our politicians, our doctors and our teachers - need to know that for every phrase, there's an Aussie version that's even better.
