The Comprehensive List Of Hats In The Movie "Thumbelina"

Head accessories are a very serious part of the fashion game in Thumbelina. In fact, they are so important that we thought it best to compile them all into a cohesive list. For science.

In order of appearance:

The "Can't You Tell I'm a Mother from My Shapeless Hat and Drab Clothing" Hat

Via media.baselineresearch.com

In order to pull this look off, you must have the oversized heart-shaped locket necklace. You also absolutely must wear reading glasses that have for some reason been impractically halved and you 100% must attempt to read through them, all the while maintaining your soft, matronly voice. Otherwise you can't wear the hat.

The "Could Be A Bald, Bumpy Head or Could Maybe Be A Flesh-Colored Sock Hat" Hat

Maybe there was a hat that was glued to his head and was torn off in an unfortunate farming incident? "The sad story of a dog, balded before his time." I smell prequel material!

The "Strangely Formal for Farm Animals" Hats

Via vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net

Is that a bonnet? Part of a Princess Leia cosplay? And why does the goat have to wear a top hat but the cow is exempt? Corrupt hat requirements are a serious problem on this farm.

The "Manly Helm of Courage and Virility, So Named to Compensate for it Being Actually the Size of a Thumb Tack" Hat

Via pinterest.com

"I don't need kneepads or wristguards, imma just wear this nifty too-small metal helmet which would likely aid in my demise should I fall off, but then I'm gonna take it off any time I might actually need to be fighting."

Prince Cornelius: nailing it with the hero-ing.

The "Somehow Stays On Even While in Flight, Along With My Socks That Are Much Too Baggy for My Ankles" Hat

Via wordpress.com

Is he French? Is he wearing a vest or is he wearing leggings and a black cowl and is naturally patterned with pink and yellow triangles? Does he have pillows for arms? Do all birds have fingers? The questions are endless.

The "We're Trying to Be Helpful But We're Actually Just Useless and We Totally Stole These Hats from an Unsuspecting Honeysuckle" Hats

Via vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net

The name pretty much says it all.

The "Floppy Hats of Flippant Racism" Hats

Via wordpress.com

First of all, their names are Gringo, Mozo, and Grundel. Like, come on. Were we even trying to be PC? (Answer: this came out in 1994, so that would be a big ol' NOPE.)

But also, it comes in three different styles! Yay, options!

The "Feathered Hat That May or May Not Actually Be Connected to My Head" Hat

Via vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net

The pink hair is essential to this look. As is the accompanying song that you must sing with a confusing accent and wherein you must force an unsuspecting lady into marrying the creepiest of your creepy sons.

The "Mr. Fedora and Mrs. Party Hat-Fedora" Hats

Via vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net

It is essential that you have a partner in order to pull this off. The party hat or fedora alone are simply unacceptable. Also it helps if you have a mustache as an upper lip.

The "Snazzy Top Hat of Villainy" Hat

Via img1.wikia.nocookie.net

If you're hope is to convey that you are both a total creep and weirdly into black tie, this is the hat for you.

The "Slightly Less Villainous White Top Hats" Hats

Via images2.wikia.nocookie.net

Be sure to stand next to the guy in the "Snazzy Top Hat of Villainy" when wearing this hat, so it's obvious that you're at least somewhat less mentally disturbed.

The "Reminiscent of Vegas Show Girl Headpieces" Hat

Via pinterest.com

Know that you will be ogled if you wear this hat. I know it looks understated, but people really seem to take notice.

The "My Fancy Baroque Collar is So Expensive and So Big That it Sits Straight Up Against the Back of My Head So It's Basically a Hat" Hat

Via s52.photobucket.com

This look requires the cape. And the shoes with buckles. And also a lack of irises. Really I just wouldn't recommend it.

The "My Hat is the Same as Your Mom's So You Should Trust Me But It Has A Longer Middle Which is Where I Keep All of My Ulterior Motives" Hat

Via img4.wikia.nocookie.net

It's like the floppy mess of Mother's hat, to convey security and trustworthiness (OR DOES IT?), mixed with a chef's hat so that everybody knows what a good baker you are. And it comes in pink!

The "Can't You See By My Stereotypical Stripey Sock Hat That I'm Asleep?" Hat

Via statici.behindthevoiceactors.com

A classic. Must have for all hibernators.

The "One of Only a Few Hats In This Entire Movie with Appropriate Ear Holes to Accommodate the Wearer Moving at Fast Speeds" Hat

Via flickr.com

Big-eared folks who run a lot: this hat is for you.

The "Surprisingly Drab, Running For Your Life" Hat

Via statici.behindthevoiceactors.com

Seems like if you were going to participate in an epic life or death chase, you'd want to dress up a bit. But maybe that's just me.

The "Blends Into the Background So Well That Your Face Will Look Like It's Floating" Hat

Via statici.behindthevoiceactors.com

Kinda like that time when you accidentally wore black on picture day.

The "These Are Not Actually Hats Because They're Connected to Clothes in a Petal-Shaped Jumpsuit" Hats

Via vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net

This is right up there next to Olivia Newton-John's outfit in "We Go Together," comfort-wise. What if they had to pee?!

The "Happy Ending" Hat

Via s1083.photobucket.com

Which is obviously a wedding veil, because all happy endings involve marriages. Duh.