18 Steps To Posting An Instagram In This Generation

Who knew posting a picture online could cause so much emotional and mental damage?

HOW NORMAL PEOPLE INSTAGRAM:

And how EVERYONE should Instagram

Step 1: Decide to take a picture, take the picture.

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Step 2: Post the picture.

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Done.

HOW THIS GENERATION INSTAGRAMS:

Step 1: Choosing the unlucky photographer.

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They may get the shot in one take, or have to stay for 677 takes.

Step 2: Make sure the scene is PERFECT.

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PERFECT LIGHTING, PERFECT SCENERY, PERFECT POSE

Step 3: EVERYONE in the picture has to act as if they aren't aware a picture is being taken.

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This includes: Trying to make yourself laugh, looking to the side for an artistic look, pretending you're having too good of a time to even notice a camera.

Step 4: Review the picture.

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Does it need a retake? DOES IT? If so, EVERYONE must do the exact same pose as before.

Step 5: Ask for your peers' opinion on the picture.

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Text your core 5 besties to get their approval.

"Do I look good? No I don't care how you look, do I look good?"

"Insta worthy? Yeah, okay good thats what I thought"

Step 6: DON'T FORGET to add a WHITE frame to the picture.

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Because nobody likes a full screen Instagram, that’s social suicide.

Step 7: Add a filter, or edit it to really make it POP.

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But DO NOT let the filter affect the white boarder, or else youll have to re-crop, and add a new white boarder. A contaminated white boarder will get you LESS LIKES!

Step 8: Send your finished product to friends for their confirmation BEFORE posting it.

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P.S If ANYONE critiques it....dump them as a friend.

Step 9: Think of an AMAZING caption.

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A caption is very risky and complicated. They make or break a post.

"Should I use emojis?"

"Is this funny? Do you get it?"

HASHTAGS are so 2013.

Step 10: Warn your core 5 friends that you're about to post.

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If they don’t 'like' it within the first 5 seconds, you will kill them, won't like their next pic or worse…unfollow them.

Step 10.5: LOOK AT THE TIME!

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STEP 10 WAS A TEST! YOU FAILED AND PROBABLY GOT NO LIKES!

You want to post your picture at a time where everyone will have their phone available. You won't get likes if people are at work or at school.

Times to post: 11-12pm / 7-9pm on weekdays, 7-10pm on Friday and Saturday and ANYTIME on Sunday.

Step 11: Post your picture and tell yourself you actually don’t care about how many likes it gets...

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And promise yourself that you wont look at Instagram til tomorrow.

Step 12: Do the COMPLETE opposite and refresh your newsfeed every 2 minutes to see if it's getting any 'likes'.

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ESPECIALLY check to see if the LIKE COUNT is exceeding the TIME IT WAS POSTED!

Example: 15 likes - posted 5 minutes ago.

Step 13: If the likes do NOT exceed the time it was posted, contemplate taking it down and feel a lot of shame.

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Just note, if you take it down, people may notice...and you will be the laughing stock of Instagram.

Step 14: If the likes exceed the time it was posted for at least the first hour, you deserve a well-rested sleep for a job well done.

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Step 15: The next day, follow up with some people who haven’t liked your picture yet and force them to like it.

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It's not an easy thing to do, but some people need to be called out.

We all have those friends that don't want us to get a lot of likes. Jealous haters.

Step 16: You expect your picture to get 100+ likes, and it doesn't.

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You actually thought your picture was worth 100 likes, that's cute.

Step 17: When/If your picture hits 100 likes, you feel like you're the hottest, most popular, badass bitch...

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...you're not.

But on the outside you pretend like you didn't even notice or care...just to look THAT much cooler.

Step 18: Repeat in 1-2 weeks...

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...because NOBODY likes people who Instagram too frequently! Don't hate the player, hate the game.

This is the world we now live in.

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