BFF OR WITCH? GRANNY TAKES SIDES: Edgy Advice & Rad Stuff To Know

A READER ASKED: My BFF can be a pain. When the two of us go out for drinks, lunch or a movie, she’s super sweet and we have lots of fun. But when we’re with a group of friends, she often disagrees with me, saying I don’t know what I’m talking about. The other day, during a party at her place, I knocked over a vase that was precariously positioned by the entrance. She screamed, “You klutz! Why don’t you watch what you’re doing?” I apologized and offered to pay for the vase but she claimed it was irreplaceable. Granny, why do some people act this way? I don’t get it. Furious, embarrassed and hurt in Esquimalt.

GRANNY'S ADVICE

It disturbs me that you refer to this woman as your "BFF" when she doesn't value your opinions, puts you down and calls you names. The vase may be irreplaceable, but the witch isn't.

I get that minus an audience, she can be charming. However, unless you're flat broke and she's picking up the tab, you're a drunk and she drives, or she's hitched to one of your relatives (poor person), it's time to choose a new Best Friend Forever.

Your friend views you as being higher than her on the likeable ladder, and knocks you off it to boost her social standing. Ironically, continually toppling you keeps her on the bottom rung.

If you haven't already done so, tell her that unless she starts treating you with respect, her BFF status is in jeopardy. She'll likely plead ignorance or innocence. Let her excuses slide. However, if she again degrades you in a crowd, either nix your friendship or restrict socializing with her to the two of you.

Should you downgrade her friendship status, be prepared for backlash. There's a saying, "Speak well of your enemies, you made them." Don't get caught in her gossip or revenge crossfire. Should someone mention that she's badmouthing or angry with you, simply say, "I'm sorry to hear that."

Note: Granny's perspective is just that. She's not a certified counsellor or a psych-anything. Though insightful and entertaining, her advice is not intended to replace the expertise of a qualified therapist.

Need Granny's Advice? Got a gripe at work? Spouse not treating you well? Want an opinion on a moral issue? Need dating or relationship advice? Uncertain who's right?

Ask Granny! Granny might publish her advice to you in a column, but she will never reveal your identity.

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Website: http://www.grannytakessides.com