Buzz·Posted on Jul 6, 201624 Hysterical Tweets That Will Make You Say "Me On A First Date""I'll just wait in the car."by Grace SpelmanBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail 1. gary from teen mom @garyfromteenmom [first date] ok dont let them know i stalked them online them: my aunt-- me: theresa or sharon 11:46 PM - 07 Nov 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. Sam Grittner @SamGrittner FIRST DATE TIP: Always get the door for them. Rip it out of its hinges, plow right through it, burn it down. Show how much you hate doors. 01:09 AM - 25 Sep 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. Amy Bottrill @bottrill Me after a first date: please send me details of your time and place of birth so I can check our charts for astrological compatibility 04:02 PM - 31 May 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. madeleine @madeleinedoux DATE: um, hi nice to meet y- ME: *muffled by my jousting helmet* you are a small and weak man 08:32 PM - 27 Feb 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. amy @arb "so, in summation, that's why I choose to believe Men In Black is a documentary" date: are u gonna order any food or what 10:11 PM - 22 May 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. sam 🍒 @sammcmanusss fun date idea: we go to the animal shelter and adopt every dog 01:27 AM - 04 Nov 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. illuminaughty @kennedylryan running out of things to talk about on a first date: 04:29 AM - 24 Aug 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. madeleine @madeleinedoux DATE: do u really need that ME: [struggling to force legs in high chair] oh right like im just gonna sit where I could fall over any minute 10:59 PM - 19 Mar 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. drugs cat 2020 @jon_snow_420 waiter, please fill my glass completely to the top until a meniscus forms & then pour the rest of the wine into my purse. thank you 10:39 PM - 19 Jun 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. batkaren @batkaren *lights dim in restaurant* DATE: did it just become sexier in here? ME: I CAN'T SEE MY MENU 02:24 AM - 12 Jan 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. what @chanelpuke Lets have a romantic dinner 11:17 PM - 21 Oct 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. First Date Questions @firstdateqs *slides single piece of paper across table* please build a paper airplane you have three minutes to impress me 04:21 PM - 06 Jul 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. moody monday @mdob11 [on first date] I think we need some time apart 05:46 PM - 31 Jan 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. First Date Questions @firstdateqs *pulls out binder* which of these dogs in sweaters is your favorite? 06:37 PM - 15 Dec 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. Brendan O'Hare @brendohare DATE TIP: Hold doors. Pull the chair out for your date. Burp your date. Change your date oh god you are on a date with a baby ok stay cool 12:58 AM - 08 Aug 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. NAS NIXX @poshtofu *me on a date* soooo... what's ur favorite meme 01:46 PM - 26 Jun 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. Niggarati @sixxela_duhh When u stalk all of his social media accounts & you gotta pretend not to know everything about him on the first date 03:02 AM - 13 Feb 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. Elizabeth @Elizasoul80 [On a date and we pull into the restaurant parking lot] "I'll just wait in the car." 11:52 PM - 29 Dec 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. chuuch @ch000ch make your date feel important by asking lots of questions and holding an invisible mic to her mouth for every answer 01:46 AM - 18 Sep 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 20. treasure✨ @imteddybless guys find it sexy when a girl eats so much she has to lie down in the restaurant 02:02 AM - 10 Mar 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 21. Alanna Bennett @AlannaBennett I have a first date tonight and I accidentally sent a screenshot of the guy's profile TO THE GUY PLS BURN ME ALIVE 11:30 PM - 23 Jun 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 22. JENNA MARBLES! @ItsJennaMarbles My idea of a perfect date is to share a 100 pack of chicken nuggets together and complain about everything we hate. 10:55 PM - 05 Sep 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 23. thanks meat cat @GraceSpelman [first date] Him: Tell me about yourself Me: WELL, i didn’t wear a bra with my dress today so all my boob sweat dripped onto my feet 05:54 PM - 10 Jun 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 24. alana hope levinson @alanalevinson me on a first date 10:24 PM - 29 Jul 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite