1.
can't wait til i'm a ghost and a dude with a tape recorder asks if there's anything i'd like to communicate and i get to go "no thank you"
2.
NEW FOOTAGE OF A GHOST https://t.co/H7bYI3QJbo
3.
You never hear about a new ghost. "Oh yeah, this place is haunted since Jeff died last Tuesday."
4.
who do you think the snapchat ghost was before he died
5.
your body is a ghost factory that takes one lifetime to produce a ghost
6.
apparently "how many ghosts do you think haunt the ocean?" is not a good conversation starter at lunch
7.
I like to lift my feet up so the person in the stall next to me thinks it's a ghost that has diarrhea
8.
Why won’t people talk about slow ghosts? Because they’re the last taboo.
9.
I wonder if the veil between parallel worlds ever blurs enough that some other being sees me & is like 'there's that sad fat ghost again'
10.
(caresses face of ghost) Let's stop calling this a haunted house and start making it a haunted home
11.
They say that ghosts haunt the places where they died, so please kill me at a water park.
12.
ghost: get...out... me: sorry who actually pays the rent? is it you? ghost: ...no me: then how about you get out fucker ghost: wow chill pls
13.
*Ghost floats into the bar* "I'm here for the boooooooooos" Bartender: Go home to your family Tim.
14.
what if a ghost is in love with me and is using its powers to keep people away from me because that would explain a lot
15.
you find love where you least expect it like the morgue or a haunted warehouse
16.
sometimes conversation isn't about connecting with someone. sometimes it's just about making sure you're still not secretly a ghost
17.
It looks like the tables have turned. The silverware is rearranged. The food is scattered. The restaurant ghosts are back.
18.
welcome to Being A Ghost. Here are your chains for some reason
19.
[ghost writes YOUR DEAD in condensation on bathroom mirror] "My dead what?" [ghost writes *YOU'RE] AAHHHHHHHHHH!
20.
at my funeral don't let anybody say my spirit is among you - i will NOT be there i have better things to do
21.
icebergs are whale ghosts