1.
Sorry Im late i was in the parking lot crying
2.
im VERY laid back. i only care about 2 things: every person on earth & their opinion of me the crushing psychological weight of being alive
3.
Doctor: Where does it hurt? Me: *shows unanswered text*
4.
TECHNICALLY EVERYONE SHOULD BE CRYING AT ALL TIMES
5.
What u guys doin' 😎 *puts on sunglasses* *they fall off* *I trip and step on them* *I cry for a very long time, but not just about this*
6.
Very normal stages of anger: 1) kinda upset 2) crying 3) imagining yourself singing a revengeful song to them at a talent show
7.
Weddings r cool bc u can cry in public about other stuff as long as u look in the general direction of the bride + groom
8.
If u let ur kid run & scream in the mall I swear to god I'll follow u home & sit in my car sobbing as I watch ur beautiful family eat dinner
9.
some days I'm all [sound of a fluffy cloud violently smashing into a mountain] other days I'm [sound of crocodiles gently eating a mitten]
10.
omfg i HATE when kids scream in public... u have no real problems. it should be me screaming. ME
11.
Ok ! The Rant is over ! I'm Calmer ! Well I'm not Calm but I Got so upset i tired myself out !
12.
"I REALLY THINK THIS IS THE EYESHADOW PALETTE THAT'S GONNA TURN IT ALL AROUND FOR ME" I scream-cried at the Sephora cashier
13.
fool me once [starts ugly crying so hard i can't continue the sentence]
14.
I have really bad period cramps&ive revealed all of my emotions to basically everyone I know&my fear of abandonment is KICKIN right now bye!
15.
ah i seeeee i thought when you said you wanted to start a family it was understood i would be the baby
16.
I've never not gone to bed angry
17.
it gets dark early on the outside because I get dark early on the inside
18.
Once I tried to prank my parents by bringing home a signed detention slip and somehow I ended up crying
19.
When I have PMS I cycle through, on a loop: pupil-dilating horniness, suicidal rage, and the craziest giggles
20.
Apparently "bad and weird" is not the right answer when the cashier asks how how you're doing today
21.
i’ve been using tear-free shampoo but i’m still depressed
22.
[literally nothing is happening] I am very overwhelmed
23.
I went to go see MMXXL with @juliastmi and at the end she started crying and said "it's so important" @channingtatum