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A Reminder That The Most Dangerous Jeans Are Actually JNCOs

Clarification: I am not a doctor. (Lol can you imagine?)

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In the wake of the news regarding skinny jeans and their hazardous potential, questions are being raised (by me) about another genre of jean.

JNCO Jeans, a wide-leg style of jeans that found its popularity in the 90's and no other time ever, is often considered to be one of the ugliest trends in fashion. But given their obscenely large pant width, shouldn't these jeans also be considered the most dangerous fashion trend?

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Some pairs of JNCO Jeans can reach a leg opening size greater than 50 inches. To help the younger generation visualize this, 50 inches of leg-hole space is about 6 iPad Minis long.

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With all that leg space comes extra denim. And that extra denim allows for many opportunities to trip over things you wouldn't normally trip over while wearing, say, a pair of skinny jeans.

Maybe it wasn't just the ugliness of the dress-sized pant legs that contributed to the fading of the JNCO jean trend.

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One trip to the hospital later, and you'd never be seen in another pair of JNCO Jeans.

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Wipe that smile off your face, Krista. Because guess what? Yup. You're in a wheelchair with a broken leg because you thought it would be fun to jump up and down at a poetry reading in your pair of JNCO Jeans. When your JNCO Jeans are through with you, you're gonna need a physical therapy consultation with yourself. It's gonna very little Benz driving and lots of dramatic bus rides because the doctor said you wouldn't be able to walk for another 6 months.

Much to my disappointment, I could find no evidence of JNCO Jeans causing anyone physical harm. BUT given that their heyday was in the 90's, a time before internet product reviews, I am not going to rule out the possibility of danger.

In fact, there are many rumors about the return of the JNCO Jeans. So consider this a warning. If you wear JNCO Jeans, please watch where you're stepping. If you do buy a pair, maybe just use them for sitting down. Designate them as your official Sitting Pants. Please. Your loved ones will thank you.

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