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19 Signs You Are A Serial Drunk Texter

Put down that smartphone, and no one will get hurt.

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1. You never go anywhere without your phone.

What an absurd theory, you're not addicted. You just need it really bad.

2. Alcohol makes you extremely social.

Both offline and online.

3. After the first drink, your phone becomes one thing with your hand.

The other hand, of course, is for the second drink.

4. In case of need you've perfected the ancient technique of "texting while holding a tumbler with the same hand"

If everything shall go south someday, you have a guaranteed spot in the local circus.

5. You have a couple recurrent "targets".

Ok, maybe someone more...

6. 3/4 of them are ex boyfriends/girlfriends.

We are not talking about those you managed to break up with nicely. Where would be the fun in that?

7. Of course, when sober, you'll never even dream of texting those people.

Honestly, you don't have the guts. But alcohol makes you brave, too.

8. Some people know by now that if they hear from you, you are drunk.

They could be OK with that, maybe even enjoy it.

9. You're not picky when it comes to choose a "drunk texting pal".

If you see someone online, the only thing you can think is "Let's start a conversation about anything!"

10. You're an excellent multitasker.

You can manage up to 10 different conversation both live and via text.

11. At first, you'll also correct your typos.

Just the big ones. You can't spend your night on some missing letters, can you?

Just the big ones. You can't spend your night on some missing letters, can you?

12. After a while your thumbs will run free across the keys, composing nonsensical texts that seem perfectly fine to you.

You'll follow James Joyce's stream of consciousness technique. If someone can't understand you, it's because he's an illiterate!

13. Your best friends have learned to understand your special drunk language.

14. There's something that can bring you from drunk texting to sexting.

For someone is tequila, for someone else is gin... and for someone is just another weekend.

15. The morning after you remember 50% of the conversations.

A quick look at your phone will refresh your memory on the other 50%.

16. And you regret 100% of them.

What the hell have you done?

17. You swear it'll be the last time.

...really. You know you say it every weekend, but this time you mean it.

18. Your shame and regret will be the starting point of a full set of new texts to last weekend victims.

Once you're properly fueled, obviously.

19. But you're secretly proud of your extroverted, brilliant and flirty (drunk) self.

You wish you could be more like that.

Maybe a hip flask in your purse could help..?

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