I've been in a committed relationship for six years. That's right. I am 21 years old, and my entire romantic history consists of a six-year relationship with one individual. It has not been on and off. It has not been due to "circumstances". We simply gravitated towards one another, and that was that.
And yet, for whatever reason, I often get an uneasy vibe from some individuals that I am "too young" to have a relationship as serious as the one I currently find myself in. I have had people in the earlier stages of this relationship (two to three years in) openly suggest that I was too young to really feel that way about someone. I still come across people making judgements about me when I mention I'm engaged. I've been called "one of those kinds of people" by someone because of it. I felt self-conscious wearing my engagement ring in seminars. I stopped saying "fiancé" shortly after starting university and started saying "partner".
However, I want to state that this is not something I – or indeed others who are in relationships at such an age – should feel guilty about, or thought of as "clichéd" and not to be taken seriously. It shows individuality and strength of character to commit to a relationship. It shows you can work as part of a team, a partnership. There is more pressure on our generation to focus on our education and a career than ever before, and starting up and maintaining a romantic relationship is seen as "holding you back" from that.
My partner has never held me back. He has done the exact opposite. He encourages me to follow my ambitions, and has remained a solid touchstone in my life. Even though he does not enjoy or understand poetry, he came along and supported me at a recent reading I did (his night was spent staring wistfully at the bottom of an empty wine glass, though, I'll admit). Being in a relationship does not mean you no longer have freedom. If you find yourself in that situation, that is not a healthy. I would even hesitate to call it a relationship.
My partner is also imperfect. His unwavering cheeriness and undying optimism can be unintentionally grating when you find yourself a bit down. But let me get one thing straight: he is not second best, and neither have I rushed into an ill-considered relationship due to my age. There is no such thing as "Mr. or Ms. Right" or "the one". That is a delusion. There are only people, and people are flawed. That is what makes us human. His goofiness when I'm down may frustrate me at times, but this very goofiness that some may see as incompatibility with my own character makes him who he is, and I wouldn't change that for anything. Mostly, he gets me to crack a smile when no-one else could. For all those characteristics I sometimes find trying (like eating all of the biscuits we can only get once a year from Canada), there are two more that I find ridiculously endearing – like his constant compliments and willingness for intellectual debate. He probably feels the same way about me. I also never saw myself being with someone so interested in economics and politics - interests so different from my own - and he feels the same way.
Regardless, no one, whether in a relationship or not, should be made to feel like they are stigmatised because of it. Relationships are also a sort of "test drive" of whether not people will work well together, and they can be messy. It doesn't make you "loose" or mean your standards are low if you choose to explore those options at a younger age (or any age). Neither does your age define your ability to love, or know what love is. You don't have to be in a relationship, and you don't have to be single, ever, if you don't want to. Love is love, and you can love more than one person, anyone, or no one. It can be fleeting, or it can be long-lasting. If you aren't in a romantic relationship, there are still many platonic ones in your life that can mean a great deal, because there is more to love than the romantic kind.
And as McGonagall said, in response to Remus's reasoning that he was "too old" to love Tonks, "Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world."
So stop making Dumbledore sad, and do what makes you happy.
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