17 Times #ThingsJesusNeverSaid Was Too Hilarious For Its Own Good

#ThingsJesusNeverSaid frenzy swept through the Twittersphere this week, resurrecting some of the greatest Jesus jokes ever seen!

1. The time Jesus wasn't about those shared posts...

Joe Dolman @JoeDolman96

please guys, I need to help all those people who shared these posts on Facebook #ThingsJesusNeverSaid

10:46 AM - 18 Aug 2015

Via Twitter: @JoeDolman96

2. The time Jesus didn't fancy laying down the sickest album of 2015...

The Gamiest Gamer @RETR0JOE

#ThingsJesusNeverSaid #StraightOutta Nazareth!

11:08 AM - 18 Aug 2015

Via Twitter: @RETR0JOE

3. The time Jesus trolled your resurrection hopes...

DeeJae @Rexforbes7

#ThingsJesusNeverSaid.. You only live once.

11:44 AM - 18 Aug 2015

Via Twitter: @Rexforbes7

4. The time Jesus' sandal choice was on fleek...

Walking Expression @WalkingExpress

#ThingsJesusNeverSaid Check out my new Nike Air Nazareth's.

11:24 AM - 18 Aug 2015

Via Twitter: @WalkingExpress

5. The time Jesus had his priorities dead right...

Daniel / Ken tK™ @SnoopPuggyPugg

#ThingsJesusNeverSaid Better check if that Facebook post got enough likes for me to save that sick person.

10:27 AM - 18 Aug 2015

Via Twitter: @SnoopPuggyPugg

6. The time Jesus was questioning his heritage...

Ronin Mara @RoninMara

Why am I the only blonde haired, blue eyed guy in Galilee? #ThingsJesusNeverSaid

09:21 AM - 18 Aug 2015

Via Twitter: @RoninMara

7. The time Jesus headed out for the cheekiest of Nandos...

[emma] @afphiliated

#ThingsJesusNeverSaid out for a cheeky nandos wiv the lads #squadgoals

08:16 AM - 18 Aug 2015

Via Twitter: @afphiliated

8. The time Jesus was the Freshest Prince of Nazareth...

R Thomas @GRravski

Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped - turned upsidedown... #ThingsJesusNeverSaid

08:01 AM - 18 Aug 2015

Via Twitter: @GRravski

9. The time Jesus was the ultimate WineLad...

Michael Clarke @Mr_Mike_Clarke

#ThingsJesusNeverSaid "How can I be drunk, sweetheart? I've been drinking water all night!" *Winks at the lads

07:35 AM - 18 Aug 2015

Via Twitter: @Mr_Mike_Clarke

10. The time Jesus just lived for the weekend...

Funny Tweets @FunnyThingsUK

#ThingsJesusNeverSaid TGIF = Thank god it's friday

06:33 AM - 18 Aug 2015

Via Twitter: @FunnyThingsUK

11. The time Jesus owned Peter at Beer Pong...

Wolf Jeezus @mrlonghair_

#ThingsJesusNeverSaid "Step your game up, Peter."

12:09 PM - 18 Aug 2015

Via Twitter: @mrlonghair_

12. The time Jesus got a little inspiration from Gandalf...

Somba tha Atheist @thelionkingkong

#ThingsJesusNeverSaid Fly you fools!

11:23 PM - 17 Aug 2015

Via Twitter: @thelionkingkong

13. The time Jesus had the pet we all wish we could have...

Charley Kaye @charley_ck14

Who wants to go for a ride on my dinosaur? #ThingsJesusNeverSaid

10:42 PM - 17 Aug 2015

Via Twitter: @charley_ck14

14. The time Jesus was the awkward customer...

Tony Posnanski @tonyposnanski

I have a large party. Could we get separate checks please? #ThingsJesusNeverSaid

10:42 PM - 17 Aug 2015

Via Twitter: @tonyposnanski

15. The time Jesus simply didn't give a f**k

Mat Clarke @mattymax_clarke

#ThingsJesusNeverSaid "Fuck the water... Let's get crunk!"

08:56 AM - 18 Aug 2015

Via Twitter: @mattymax_clarke

16. The time Jesus didn't have any time for your shit...

Michael Clarke @Mr_Mike_Clarke

"Please Lord, give me a sign." "I'm busy!" #ThingsJesusNeverSaid

12:17 PM - 18 Aug 2015

Via Twitter: @Mr_Mike_Clarke

17. The time Jesus punked the world...

Trevor Jones @TGJones_62

#ThingsJesusNeverSaid I didn't actually walk on water. I was water skiing

10:49 PM - 17 Aug 2015

Via Twitter: @TGJones_62