7 Things That Are Impossible In An Australian Summer

Our 'Land Down Under' is known for it's sparkling beaches, friendly people, great food and summers so hot they'll make you want to gouge your eyes out.

1. Physical Contact

Giphy / Via giphy.com

Your body produces too much heat to be near me right now. You may return to me in Winter.

2. Grey t-shirts.

Sweaty? Me? No...

3. Makeup? Forget about it.

IT'S LIKE TRYING TO BEAUTIFY A PUDDLE

4. A leisurely barefoot stroll across your front lawn.

A bindi in the toe results in a yelp and hop combo... which in turn makes you trip and fall into a spiky lomandra bush of death and lie there crying in your underwear until you hear a bus approaching.

5. Sitting on a chair without leaving a giant arse-shaped sweat mark behind.

6. Eating an icecream at a leisurely pace.

7. Wearing unnecessary clothes out of the house.

Classic yet fresh summer boob tuck.