1. When you describe yourself as organized in your cover letter:
I can't even find a matching sock.
2. When the interviewer asks for an example of how you're creative:
*drops the mic* *walks away*
3. When you have one shot to prove that you're accomplished:
I also know how to sing happy birthday in four languages and took a ballroom dance class in college!
4. When you get the "after close consideration we have decided to move forward with another candidate" email:
I spent 48 hours proofreading my cover letter.
5. When the job requires 8-10 years experience and you have 0:
How is this entry level?
6. When you're asked to describe yourself in 50 characters or less:
I'm very funny!
7. When you have to include the links to your social media accounts:
*deletes every Acapulco vacation photo*
8. When you're hit with "where do you see yourself in five years?":
Let's just focus on what I'm good at right now.
9. When a friend suggests you should go to a networking event:
No, thanks. I'd rather die than be social.
10. When HR calls and says you're not quite the right fit for the role:
WRONG. I'm perfect.
11. When the last bullet on the job description says "must be able to work late nights and occasional weekends":
Sorry but I have plans with Netflix and my bed.
12. When you finally hit submit on the application and a 404 error pops up:
IS IT GONE FOREVER? IF I HIT REFRESH WILL IT SEND IT TWICE?
13. When the interviewer asks why you want to work at that company:
You think all the food I eat is going to pay for itself?
14. When there's a position open at your friend's company:
Tell them how amazing I am.
15. When you wake up after getting 15 hours of sleep and start browsing for job openings:
This is incredibly overwhelming. Goodnight.
16. When the interviewer says "do you have any last questions for me?":
I just feel it in my gut.
17. When the application requires you to manually fill in your previous work experience:
Why did you even make me upload my resume?
18. When the hiring manager asks for your biggest weakness and you feel them judging your life choices:
So what if I cry every time I'm slightly inconvenienced?
19. And when the interviewer starts raving about how incredibly talented their coworkers are:
I'd fit right in! I'm also incredibly talented!
