Katie — a pseudonym to protect her privacy — sat waiting in a small room at Parramatta Local Court on Friday, breathing in slowly, preparing to read her victim impact statement.
Just outside the room, their conversation almost audible, sat the family members of her former partner Andrew Bennett, who was about to be sentenced for her rape.
Bennett, 33, was charged with two counts of rape in February 2017, to which he pleaded not guilty. He was cleared of one count and convicted of the other by a jury in October this year.
All of Katie’s loved ones were interstate where she now lives, but she spoke to her boyfriend, who had to work on Friday, over the phone.
“I haven’t cried yet,” she told him.
The only person there to support Katie was a Witness Assistance Service officer Sally, a pseudonym, provided by the Office of the Director Of Public Prosecutions. Sally walked Katie past the family and into the courtroom.
Bennett sat in the dock wearing prison greens.
“It is with feelings of anxiety and fear but also strength and now the confidence I am slowly gaining back from this ordeal, that I continue on my healing and self care,” Katie began her victim impact statement.
“Your honour, my name is [Katie] and I am 34 years young and I am the extremely proud mother of three academic, artistitic, beautiful and athletic daughters.”
She described her nine-year relationship with Bennett, father to her two youngest daughters, who she said often called her “cunt, slut, fuckwit, dog, parasite and bitch”.
“I ended up unknowingly becoming a statistic, a victim of emotional, financial, physical and sexual abuse,” she said.
“The psychological impacts that this toxic relationship left me with are an over-abundant sense of failure, low self-esteem, post traumatic stress, anxiety, doubt and second-guessing, fear and mistrust.”
She described defending her former partner’s behaviour to friends and family because she wanted her children to grow up with a “traditional nuclear family”.
“I feel like Mr Bennett was at war within himself and he battled himself vicariously through me,” she said. “The only thing that kept me going were my three little best friends in my daughters.”
When Katie got to this part of her statement she broke down and sentencing judge Siobhan Herbert said the Witness Assistance Service officer could sit next to her. Katie finished with Sally by her side.
“I don’t think I would have been strong enough to go through with it without her,” Katie told BuzzFeed News afterwards. “She was my guardian angel.”
Katie finished her statement by telling the court that she wants to be the role model her daughters deserve.
“I only hope Mr Bennett realises he needs to be accountable for his actions and that he can find inner peace, if not for himself, then for our daughters.”
Bennett did not look up at Katie during her statement.
“The three times I found the courage to look at him, his head was bowed,” she said.
After making her statement, Katie left the courtroom and Bennett’s lawyer made submissions to the judge as to why his client should have a reduced sentence.
He said Bennett was “hypersexual” and needed treatment for the “exhibited behaviours” that had “brought himself into this situation”. When he referred to Katie as a “complainant”, Herbert corrected him: “She’s a victim”.
It was now time for sentencing. Katie waited until everyone was back inside the courtroom and then quickly left the courthouse.
“I felt alone, I felt a bit scared, intimidated and paranoid,” she said later. “The whole way walking back to the train station I looked back over my shoulder.”
Herbert began her sentencing remarks by describing the rape, which she said happened during the school holidays on September 20, 2015, after Bennett discovered the father of Katie’s first child had sent her a Facebook birthday message with a picture of a cake to show his daughter.
“[Bennett] had inspected [Katie’s] mobile without her knowledge and had seen the message,” Herbert said. “He threw the mobile at her and accused her of cheating.”
Herbert said Bennett told Katie she was “going to be punished” and threw a framed picture against the wall, smashing it.
“The offender gripped the victim by the back of her neck and threw her face down onto the bed,” she said. “Holding her down on the bed, the offender removed her pants.”
Herbert said during this Katie was screaming “No don’t do this” and “What are you doing?” as she tried to scratch Bennett.
“The anal penetration hurt physically and the victim screamed and cried but the offender persisted," she said.
A series of eight “abusive and insulting” text messages were sent by Bennett to Katie on September 21, the night after the rape. One said “I have to rape you to get a fuck” and “maybe you should just let me rape you all the time”. Another said “it is the most sexual penetration we’ve had in the last two years”.
“The offender acted in a purposeful matter … it was his intention to use and degrade her,” Herbert said. “The victim was bleeding post-offence.”
Herbert detailed Bennett’s childhood which she said was “characterised by instability, exposure to substance abuse and domestic violence”.
At this point Bennett, who had so far been silently crying in the dock during the sentencing remarks, disappeared from view with his head between his legs.
Herbert referred to a report made by a psychologist (who interviewed Bennett while he was in custody) in which he described his patient’s level of libido as “high”.
“Ideally he’d like to have sexual intercourse five times a day,” Herbert said the psychologist noted. “He was advised during the interview that this was excessive … he appeared surprised by this information.”
The psychologist said Bennett verbally demonstrated a “satisfactory understanding of consent”.
Herbert described the psychologist’s suggestion that Bennett had a “sense of sexual entitlement over his partner” and that it was possible he held attitudes that “condone sexual violence in the context of a domestic relationship”.
“That opinion is consistent with my findings and particularly the words he used when he anally raped his partner that he was doing it as punishment,” Herbert said.
She sentenced Bennett to four years imprisonment with a non-parole period of two years and nine months.
Katie said she hopes she never has to set foot in another courtroom.
“If this was in the first year after I’d left him there was no way in hell I could have done it because I would have just shut down and not dealt with it,” she said.
“But I have gotten better and grown stronger in the past three years and I take so much pride in how my daughters have turned out.
“I feel stronger knowing that I was on my own in the courtroom and I conquered it.”
If you or someone you know is experiencing violence and needs help or support, there are national and state-based agencies that can assist you 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732).