1. People say Portugal is a breathtaking country...

Husond / Via en.wikipedia.org
Azenhas do Mar in Sintra.
2. But you've got to wonder why Portuguese people are so proud of their country.

Paola Spartà / Via Flickr: mbaruzza_2
3. Portugal has no charm.

Pablo Nieto / Via Flickr: rapidoelectro
4. Not even a little bit!

hom26 / Via Flickr: hom26
Sintra.
5. Who would want to lie on beaches like this one?

Daniel Antunes / Via Flickr: danielantunes
Aljezur.
6. Look at the color of the water — it's just gross!

Tamires Minuk / Via Flickr: tataminuk
Madeira.
7. Let's talk about Porto for a minute...

Raul Lieberwirth / Via Flickr: lanier67
8. Seriously, what is this thing?

Pepe Martin / Via Flickr: pepemartin
Maria Pia Bridge (built by Gustave Eiffel).
9. The whole place is just charmless.

mat's eye / Via Flickr: matte0ne
10. This is an offense to my eyes.

Humberto Santos / Via Flickr: hfmsantos
11. And Lisbon isn't much better...

ilirjan rrumbullaku / Via Flickr: 125701341@N07
12. The whole city lives in the past.

hugo n. / Via Flickr: higaara
13. And the tramway is just painful to look at.

Andrea Moroni / Via Flickr: bandytam
14. What is this? Where are we? San Francisco??

Jaime Silva / Via Flickr: 20792787@N00
25 de Abril Bridge in Lisbon.
15. Portuguese landscapes are in no way poetic.

Mariusz Kluzniak / Via Flickr: 39997856@N03
Tavira.
16. And everybody knows the country has zero history.

F Mira / Via Flickr: fhmira
Park and National Palace of Pena, Sintra.
17. Everything there is unremarkable and ugly.

Diego Delso / Via en.wikipedia.org
Porto's city hall.
18. The architecture in the country is so boring.

Bernt Rostad / Via commons.wikimedia.org
Belém Tower, Lisbon.
19. Lame!

Alvesgaspar / Via en.wikipedia.org
Padrão dos Descobrimentos, Lisbon.
20. Seriously, this place has no class.

Juan Lois / Via Flickr: caese
Santa Luzia.
21. It's just vile.

Alvesgaspar / Via fr.wikipedia.org
Pegões aqueduct.
22. A pile of old stones with zero appeal.

François Saulnier / Via Flickr: bibulus
Jerónimos Monastery, Lisbon.
23. And don't even get me started on the food.

Azchael / Via Flickr: azchael
24. Ew.

Azchael / Via Flickr: azchael
25. I mean, who on earth enjoys Porto?

Guglielmo Ferri / Via Flickr: gugfer
26. Oh, and Fado is lame too.

Anefo / Mieremet, R. / Via fr.wikipedia.org
Amália Rodrigues.
27. Portugal has no memorable celebrities.

Chris Deahr / Via fr.wikipedia.org
Cristiano Ronaldo.
28. Seriously, who's ever heard of Luís Figo??

Ludovic Péron / Via commons.wikimedia.org
29. Portuguese people are so boring.

Raimond Spekking / Via commons.wikimedia.org
30. And unpleasant.

Pedro Ribeiro Simões / Via Flickr: pedrosimoes7
31. No really, this country is just plain ugly.

Eider Palmou / Via Flickr: garaigoikoa
Ponta da Piedade.
32. Don't bother.

Moinho tipico / Via Flickr: franciscoantunes
Moinho Tipico.
33. Just stay home...

Jose Maria Cuellar / Via Flickr: cuellar
Lisbon.
34. And never come to Portugal!

Aires Almeida / Via Flickr: 31212180@N08
Praia do Vau (Algarve).