34 Reasons To Never Visit Portugal

Run you fools!

Posted on August 07, 2015, 16:23 GMT

Gilles Rolland

BuzzFeed Contributor

1. People say Portugal is a breathtaking country...

Azenhas do Mar in Sintra.

2. But you've got to wonder why Portuguese people are so proud of their country.

3. Portugal has no charm.

4. Not even a little bit!

Sintra.

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5. Who would want to lie on beaches like this one?

Aljezur.

6. Look at the color of the water — it's just gross!

Madeira.

7. Let's talk about Porto for a minute...

8. Seriously, what is this thing?

Maria Pia Bridge (built by Gustave Eiffel).

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9. The whole place is just charmless.

10. This is an offense to my eyes.

11. And Lisbon isn't much better...

12. The whole city lives in the past.

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13. And the tramway is just painful to look at.

14. What is this? Where are we? San Francisco??

25 de Abril Bridge in Lisbon.

15. Portuguese landscapes are in no way poetic.

Tavira.

16. And everybody knows the country has zero history.

Park and National Palace of Pena, Sintra.

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17. Everything there is unremarkable and ugly.

Porto's city hall.

18. The architecture in the country is so boring.

Belém Tower, Lisbon.

19. Lame!

Padrão dos Descobrimentos, Lisbon.

20. Seriously, this place has no class.

Santa Luzia.

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21. It's just vile.

Pegões aqueduct.

22. A pile of old stones with zero appeal.

Jerónimos Monastery, Lisbon.

23. And don't even get me started on the food.

24. Ew.

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25. I mean, who on earth enjoys Porto?

26. Oh, and Fado is lame too.

Amália Rodrigues.

27. Portugal has no memorable celebrities.

Cristiano Ronaldo.

28. Seriously, who's ever heard of Luís Figo??

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29. Portuguese people are so boring.

30. And unpleasant.

31. No really, this country is just plain ugly.

Ponta da Piedade.

32. Don't bother.

Moinho Tipico.

33. Just stay home...

Lisbon.

34. And never come to Portugal!

Praia do Vau (Algarve).