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Round II- Playing With Etymology: The Irony Behind Every 'Word'

Fiction. Fantasy. Fake. Fantastic. Freak. F**k

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1. Pilot:

A person who operates the flying controls of an aircraft.

Flying Answer- Someone who gets the credit for what the Auto-Pilot does.

Read Round-1 Here

2. Doctor:

A person licensed to practice medicine, as a physician, surgeon, dentist, or veterinarian.

Sick Answer – A person who kills your ills with pills then kills you with bills.

3. Auditor

An auditor is an official whose job it is to carefully check the accuracy of business records.

Audited Answer - Arrive after the battle and bayonet all the wounded:

4. Tax Accountant

An accountant who specializes in taxation and in the preparation of company and individual accounts.

Tax-free Answer - Take numbers on pieces of paper, rearrange them and put them on different pieces of paper.

5. Building Inspector:

Individuals who inspect new construction to make sure that the methods and materials meet local and national code requirements.

Built Answer - Have people spend far more than they estimated.

6. Divorce Lawyer:

A divorce lawyer is an attorney that specializes in family law, and has experience in issues of divorce, child custody and visitation, child support, and spousal support.

Bifurcated Answer - Help people hate each other.

7. Accountant

A person whose job is to keep or inspect financial accounts.

Unaccountable Answer - Someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.

8. Economist:

An economist is an expert who studies the relationship between a society's resources and its production or output.

Economic Answer - An expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

9. Mathematician

A mathematician is someone who uses an extensive knowledge of mathematics in his/her work, typically to solve mathematical problems.

Methodical Answer - A blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.

10. Programmer

Individual that composes instructions for computer system to refer to when performing a given action.

Robotic Answer - Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

11. Lead Singer:

lead singer in popular music is typically the member of a group or band whose voice is the most prominent in a performance where multiple voices may be heard.

Creative Answer - Someone who gargles throughout his life.

12. Hedge Fund Analyst:

A hedge fund analyst works closely with a fund manager, providing all the research and analytical tasks to identify investment opportunities for a fund’s investment portfolio.

Answer in Bet- A very good Casino Player.

13. Financial Analyst:

A financial analyst researches macroeconomic and micro economic conditions along with company fundamentals to make business, sector and industry recommendations.

Analyzed Answerr - Mostly an accountant only as not everyone understands Economics.

14. X-ray Technician:

A technician who specializes in taking and processing x-rays, especially in a hospital or clinic.

Arrayed Answer – A person who takes pictures of the unlucky and the stupid.

15. Hospital Bed:

A hospital bed or hospital cot is a bed specially designed for hospitalized patients or others in need of some form of health care.

Hospitalized Answer – A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Read Round-1 here

16. Technical Writer:

A technical writer is a professional writer who produces technical documentation that helps people understand and use a product or service.

Writer's Answer – Write words that no one wants to read.

17. College Professor:

A faculty member of the highest academic rank at an institution of higher education.

Ranting– An innocent person who knows nobody gives a shit about him but still blabbers.

18. Banker:

A banker is a trader who buys money, or money and debts, by creating other debts, which he does with his credit - exchanging for a debt payable in the future one payable on demand.

Debt Answer – A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants back the minute it begins to rain.

19. Actuary:

A person who compiles and analyses statistics and uses them to calculate insurance risks and premiums.

Actual Answer – An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.

20. Lawyer

A person whose profession is to represent clients in a court of law or to advice or act for clients in other legal matters.

Lie Lawfully– A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 words document and calls it brief.

21. Criminal

A criminal is someone who breaks the law. If you're a murderer, thief, or tax cheat, you're a criminal.

Creative Cult – A guy no different from the rest, except that he got caught.

22. Computer Scientist:

A Scientist who specializes in the theory of computation and the design of computer.

Not A Human-ic Answer - Someone who has the liberty of typing rubbish most of the times on the keyboard and still makes the onlookers wonder what a genius that guy is.

23. Boss:

The person who is in charge of an organization and who tells others what to do.

Lately Early – Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

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