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    Posted on Oct 25, 2016

    22 Food Jokes That Are Just As Funny As They Are Ridiculous

    "Avocado: okay you were in the bathroom so I rotted."

    1.

    Am fucking embarrassed to call this thing my pal

    2.

    WAITER: Room for dessert? [flashback to the room at home that hides all my desserts] ME: [nervous laugh] Haha I don't have one of those.

    3.

    Ordered Chinese last night. For a minute I was like "they woke AF" Then I realized I was tripping it was beef lo… https://t.co/u5US25YzWI

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    Her: babe I want sushi Me: bone app the teeth

    5.

    Why are there biscuits in the sewing kit tin?

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    Please don't break the window. The A/C is on, he has water, and is listening to his favorite music.

    8.

    When Dominos said they'd be 45 minutes but it's been 50.

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    Pleasure to meet you. The name's...

    11.

    Ma maw knows a hate shreddies, n she's been hidin the scran in here for fkn ages wit a snake

    12.

    Avocado: not ripe Avocado: not ripe Avocado: not ripe Avocado: I'M RIPE NOW Avocado: okay you were in the bathroom so I rotted

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    Arby's meeting: "So it's fish?" "Legally? No"

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    Me: God, I just feel so Brain: HUNGRY M: No, I'm very alone. I desperately want B: FOOD M: Part of me is missing. All I need is B: PRINGLES

    17.

    roasting marshmallows is my favorite thing to do in the fall

    18.

    Me on food network: "I made a puréed nut spread w/ a grape relish reduction paired w/ brioche bun"

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    I just want someone who looks at me the way my brother looks at ketchup