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22 Food Jokes That Are Just As Funny As They Are Ridiculous

"Avocado: okay you were in the bathroom so I rotted."

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1.

Am fucking embarrassed to call this thing my pal

2.

WAITER: Room for dessert? [flashback to the room at home that hides all my desserts] ME: [nervous laugh] Haha I don't have one of those.

3.

Ordered Chinese last night. For a minute I was like "they woke AF" Then I realized I was tripping it was beef lo… https://t.co/u5US25YzWI

4.

Her: babe I want sushi Me: bone app the teeth

5.

Why are there biscuits in the sewing kit tin?

6.

7.

Please don't break the window. The A/C is on, he has water, and is listening to his favorite music.

8.

When Dominos said they'd be 45 minutes but it's been 50.

10.

Pleasure to meet you. The name's...

11.

Ma maw knows a hate shreddies, n she's been hidin the scran in here for fkn ages wit a snake

12.

Avocado: not ripe Avocado: not ripe Avocado: not ripe Avocado: I'M RIPE NOW Avocado: okay you were in the bathroom so I rotted

13.

14.

Arby's meeting: "So it's fish?" "Legally? No"

16.

Me: God, I just feel so Brain: HUNGRY M: No, I'm very alone. I desperately want B: FOOD M: Part of me is missing. All I need is B: PRINGLES

17.

roasting marshmallows is my favorite thing to do in the fall

18.

Me on food network: "I made a puréed nut spread w/ a grape relish reduction paired w/ brioche bun"

22.

I just want someone who looks at me the way my brother looks at ketchup

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