1. "Urgent" is a word that doesn't exist in your vocabulary.
2. Speaking of vocabulary, you could probably sum yourself up in just one word: late.
3. Procrastination? That would make a beautiful tattoo.
4. To you, the day feels like it's only three hours long.
5. You manage to arrive late even to meetings that are in your own building.
6. You've learned the hard way that you shouldn't arrive late for a job interview.
7. Even if you plan your timing out perfectly before leaving in the morning, the universe will inevitably conspire against you to ensure that you're late.
8. You truly and sincerely believe that you CAN get there in five minutes.
9. Because really, being late isn't your fault.
10. I mean, it's not your fault if it's already 8:10, when you should have arrived by 8:00, but your whole look just wasn't cooperating.
11. It's also not your fault if some little old lady with a cute dog walks past you on your way to the bus, and you just have to stop to compliment her pup.
12. All of your friends already know that they have to tell you to be somewhere a full two hours before they actually plan on meeting up.
13. And, if you get to the party on time, they're all shocked.
14. You never get 100% of what your friends are saying because you always jump into the conversation late.
15. Only you know the true creative talent it takes to make up excuses for your tardiness.
16. After all, a little white lie never hurt anyone, right?
17. You prefer not to know when you're running late.
18. You might as well be in a committed relationship with the snooze button on your alarm clock.
19. And when you finally wake up early and arrive on time, you feel like you deserve an award.
This post was translated from Portuguese.