Three Easy Ways To Cook Eggs

Everybody must eat eggs.

Whether you have to get up at 7:00am to go work in an office, or you just have to roll out of bed at 3:45pm and get to work at Pizza World sometime around 4:00pm, you're going to need some protein. Whether with toast, waffles, English muffins, saltines, or a large tablespoon of dry white flour, eggs are essential to the process of getting up. Here are three easy ways to make eggs that you can make without having to fully activate your brain on waking:

1. Sunny Side Up

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The All-Seeing Eye of the Lord

1. This is the most primitive way to cook an egg. Likely invented by some cave guy in Northeastern Africa, here's the recipe: crack open an egg directly over something hot enough to cook it. On summer days you can even cook breakfast on the sidewalk (note to self: never do that).

The more sophisticated way to do it, if you're just very fancy, is to heat your skillet on the stove on medium, add a little oil or butter so that it coats the pan, crack in as many eggs as you want, and then cover the skillet. Keeping the skillet covered helps cook the top surface of the eggs. check constantly until they are done to your liking (if you like the yolk cooked hard, you can test it with your finger to feel if it's done.

2. Over Easy

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Sunny Side Up's tanned, more attractive cousin

2. Over easy eggs are awesome. Who doesn't like to have a nice, golden egg pancake with that delicious, creamy yolk oozing out (if you look the yolk to stay moist).

The procedure is basically the same as the sunny side up egg. The only difference is to cook the egg, covered, until the white over the yolk is slightly cloudy, which indicates that it's cooked, then flip. As long as it is cooked on top, the yolks won't break.

3. Hard Boiled

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Portable Protein Capsules

3. Hard boiled eggs were basically the only convenient, portable protein source god has given us. It even comes in it's own case. You can cook them well in advance and can store them away in your fridge for a few days as needed.

Here's how to do it.

Take a saucepan and put as many eggs as you want to boil. Add water to an inch above the eggs, and set the pan on high heat. Once the water boils, kill the heat, cover the pan, and leave for 15 minutes. After 15 minutes, take the eggs out and let them cool, either in a bowl in the fridge or in a bowl of ice water.

To remove the shells, try to crack them all over the surface so that there is a network of cracks on the entire egg, and open under a running faucet. Some shells are going to stick to the eggs; it's possibly the most frustrating moment of your day. Don't give in to the frustration and chuck the egg at your cat (you monster); just try to remove as little of the white with the shell as possible.

And there you have it, three easy, fast ways to make eggs so that you'll never get to work without a decent breakfast.

P.S. add salt to the eggs. Eggs without salt is like life without music.