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13 Things Only Lactose Intolerant People Will Understand
This is going to be legen — wait for it — dairy.
1. Literally everything has dairy in it. EVERYTHING.
Nickelodeon / Via reddit.com
Nothing is safe.
2. So you have to order almost everything plain, just to be safe.
ThinkStock
Disney
3. Which makes you worry that waiters hate you with a burning passion.
Oxygen
4. You always have dairy pills within reach. Because if you don't have them, things could get dangerous.
NBC
5. You can't enjoy a pint of Ben and Jerry's without feeling extremely guilty.
AMC / Via gph.is
Or pizza, mac 'n' cheese, cheeseburgers, or basically anything.
6. And yet it always seems like pizza, mac 'n' cheese, and ice cream are tempting you.
Fox
How dare they?
7. "Dairy-free" substitutes tend to be gross or tasteless.
http://speedbumpkitchen.com/choosing-the-perfect-dairy-free-milk-substitute/
LOGO
"Dairy Dream," more like downright lie.
8. And it doesn't help that they cost you an arm and a leg.
Universal
9. Which leaves you constantly choosing between something tasteless that's "lactose free," or being painfully gassy afterwards.
MTV / Via gph.is
Pick your poison.
10. And most times, you choose "painfully gassy," and regret it IMMEDIATELY.
NBC / Via gph.is
11. When you meet another lactose intolerant, you become blood brothers — because you both understand how difficult life can truly be.
NBC / Via gph.is
12. But the worst is that moment of fear when your stomach starts to hurt even the slightest.
Disney / Via gph.is
13. Because that sudden, inhumane stomach rumbling only means one thing.
Universal / Apatow Productions / Via gph.is
SOS = Save Our Stomachs
Good luck, dairy-free friends.
Sesame Workshop