1. You give the policeman who pulled you over “cigarette money”
Or coffee money
2. You would never eat fried egg (or anything, really) without kecap manis
3. You do your shopping in Singapore. Occasionally Hong Kong or Bangkok.
4. You get excited when someone you know is coming back/visiting from the United States. Even if you barely know them.
Because that means you can “titip beli” things that are unavailable in Indonesia
5. You grew up eating rice three times a day
6. And you prefer eating it with your bare hands
Right hand, of course…
7. You miss your maid during laundry day
Because who doesn’t love having your clothes HANDWASHED, ironed, and neatly folded DAILY?
8. This is staple food
9. And you know 1001 ways to cook it
Okay, maybe not with tokek
10. You’ve freaked out at least once because the internet connection is so damn slow
11. Your reaction when you see a bule
You try to take a picture with him/her and then put it as your facebook profile picture. It really doesn’t matter if he/she is good looking.
12. You’ve been driving since you were 12
13. So your legit government issued ID says you’re 5 years older than you really are
14. But buying alcohol without ID was never a problem anyway
All thanks to the collectivistic culture of Indonesia… “I’m buying this for my dad!”
15. You have an extraordinary skill when it comes to driving
16. You or someone you know have consulted a dukun
17. You’re used to sleeping in cars because… DRIVER
Also known as gardener, bag holder, and body guard
18. You pay to use the bathroom in the mall
Or make a U-turn
19. You buy all the most expensive brands because of gengsi
Even if it means you will have to resort to eating indomie for the rest of the year
20. Your main purpose in life is to get a wife/husband that’s rich, from a “good” family, and most importantly good looking in order to “memperbaiki keturunan”
21. You miss nasi goreng, bubur ayam, mi ayam, and sate kambing more than anything
Especially when you’re abroad
22. You bought a set of exam questions from your teacher for $100 because you just don’t want to study
23. You prefer to call cheating on a test as “kerja sama” (work together)
Again, collectivistic culture
24. You’ve tried to get excused from “upacara”
But you are proud as hell when you’re chosen to be the flag bearer
25. You have so many complains about the country but at the end of the day, it is where your heart is
- At least 9 are dead and 25 missing after a warehouse party fire in Oakland, CA. Dozens of fatalities are feared.
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