Republican presidential front-runner Donald Trump recently described the Bible as "his favorite book".
1.
"I'm not saying Jesus wasn't born in Bethlehem. I'm just saying show me the birth certificate." #trumpbible
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Thanks for the gold, frankincense, and myrrh Wise Guys. Now go back to your own country. #TrumpBible
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"But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, unless they are Mexicans,Chinese or illegals." #TrumpBible
4.
Mary Magdalene was a bimbo, we all know that. But her greatest sin is letting herself go, not the perfect 10 she used to be. Sad.#TrumpBible
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I like Jesus. Anyone that can feed 5000 people with 2 fish is sharp. Big mistake not charging per plate. But I still like him. #TrumpBible
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"Nothing against god, he's a good guy, I like him, but I could have done the whole deal in three days, I'm just saying." #TrumpBible
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And Jesus went out into the desert. But he should have invested in hotels there. I mean I'm killing it in Vegas. A LOT of money. #TrumpBible
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"Nehemiah. What an idiot. Why not get the Ammonites to rebuild the wall? Easy." #TrumpBible
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#TrumpBible "Jesus said give to the poor. You know what? He was poor! Yeah, another loser looking for a handout. I’m glad they killed him."
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I have a lot of Jewish friends. Jesus is one of them. Great guy. Cherishes women. The blacks love him. The Hispanics love him. #TrumpBible
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Don't get me wrong: Jesus? Great guy, classy. But a terrible executive. I would never tolerate a traitor within my organization. #TrumpBible
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There was no room at the inn. Mary and Joseph should have gone to a Trump resort. Classy. Myrrh like you can't imagine. #TrumpBible
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"Can anything good come out of Nazareth? I mean, I'm sure some of them are good people and all. But mostly we get their worst." #TrumpBible
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7 days to march around Jericho? I would've knocked down the walls day 1. Then I would've made the Canaanites pay for a new wall. #TrumpBible
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A third man passed by, and he was a Samaritan. He bandaged the man's wounds, took him to an inn, and was promptly deported. #TrumpBible
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"Let the little ones come to me. I've heard they will work for cheap and are non-unionized." #TrumpBible
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God made Adam and Eve. Then God said, "Eve has a nice figure, and if she wasn't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her. " #TrumpBible
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Cain, Abel, both good friends. Cain got into agriculture, bad business. But he murdered his competition. That's leadership. #TrumpBible
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"Moses? Awful negotiator. 'Let my people go'? If I'd been there, it would've been: 'Hey, Pharoah. We're leaving. Deal with it.'" #TrumpBible
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"Moses. What a dope. Had to go into the wilderness. I'd have negotiated a deal with Pharaoh, day one. A great deal. The best." #TrumpBible
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I lost a lot of respect for the Pharaoh. Never should have let the Hebrews go because of, what, hail? The Hebrews love me. #TrumpBible
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Jesus turned water into wine. The good stuff. Not that garbage they serve at some places. #TrumpBible
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#TrumpBible The Romans are the best. Just the best. You've got to know how to talk to them. You like that aqueduct? I like the aqueduct.
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Scribe: Which is the greatest commandment? Jesus: Sit down. Nobody called on you. Go back to Jerusalem. #TrumpBible
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