1. The wildly ambitious plans.
2. The choosing a recipe.
3. The spending two days' wages on ingredients you'll only use once.
4. The chopping the onions.
5. The crying.
6. The bleeding.
7. The sudden realisation that you've forgotten to buy a key (but obscure) ingredient at a critical time in the cooking process.
8. The mad, foolhardy, mid-cooking dash to the shops to get it.
9. The return to an overdone, inedible mess.
10. The scrabbling around for a plan B.
11. The serving up.
12. The knowing that next time - NEXT TIME - you'll get it right.
13. The washing up
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