This post has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can create a post or quiz. Try making your own!

    Elf 07090 .. a Father's Adventure.

    The elf is back and so are his adventures in 07090.

    friendlyghost
    by friendlyghost

    Community Contributor

    Elf on the Shelf time. This year I decided to take it seriously. I honestly have no idea why. Probably because I love to punish myself. So now my nightly routine will include: bathing 2 children, letting the dog out, finalizing work emails, putting A. to sleep, falling asleep while doing so, chaotically awaken confused of my whereabouts, slowly achieving the inertia to rise out of bed, stumbling down the stairs, standing in the middle of the room for a few minutes trying to remember what I'm doing, coming up with a creative idea, and hiding an elf. Sounds like its just what I needed to close out my nightly agenda.

    Day 1. Working off the turkey fat.

    T.N. in 07090

    I told A. everyone works out hard after Thanksgiving. She is going to be so mad the elf took 2 marshmallows.

    Helpful tip. I have an older elf (2005). It's not pose able, able to pose, whatever. I broke off paperclip lengths and inserted them in the tips of the arms and legs. It seemed to work well. Tomorrow I will tell everyone how terrible of an idea it was.

    Day 2. Making a house for his home.

    T.N. 2015

    A. was shocked this morning so I knew I couldn't allow myself to suffer a letdown. I am consumed by this dumb elf. I walked aimlessly into a store today thinking of ideas. When I snapped out of it I had no idea where I was or why I entered the store.

    I told A. that Santa has his elf working extra hard this year because everyone in the world has been so nice to each other in 2015. The world is a perfect place! Santa asked if it was ok for the elf to bring some of his work to our house. She was very excited. She will probably cry when she sees the workmanship. Oh well.

    Day 3. For the Birds.

    T.N. in 07090

    I had a different idea for tonight. It came to me around 1:30pm. It was squashed as soon as A. told me, "This elf hasn't built anything today. Santa is going to be so mad." I had to switch it up and go with a new plan. I thought about constructing a decent looking mini doll house. I then realized how problematic that would be when I'm all groggy eyed at 10pm. So I went into a Michael's craft store. It was a scene out of a News story about Walmart on Black Friday. People in that store are nuts! I witnessed a woman shimmying 2 carts down a narrow aisle darting towards the potpourri section. Thank God for the 4 turning wheels on that Graco. I am pretty certain if I wasn't toting around a baby, day 3 was never going to happen. Anyway, I ended up snagging this wooden birdhouse for $2.50. Tonight was easy.

    After changing the plans, I told A., "The elf will probably arrive real early to finish up the project, so get to bed soon." I see visions of a night terror involving A. shouting Elvic profanities at me.

    Want to get your very own quizzes and posts featured on BuzzFeed’s homepage and app?

    Become a Community Contributor.
    promo

    Sign up to get started

    Learn more about Community