10 Gross Things You’ve Definitely Done In NYC

All the yucky stuff that has happened and will continue to go down in the city that don't sleep

1- Walk barefoot on the sidewalk:

Girls, I know you feel me, after a night of dancing in 4 inch heels, your dawgs are barking and even though it will only be 6 steps to get in a cab but you just can't take it and you rip your shoes off in a fit of rage and put your bare feet to the sidewalk where many a-homeless person has made their home and likely peed. This does not stop us from doing it again the next weekend.

2-Flick puddle water while wearing flip flops:

Summer time and the living is done in flip flops. We wear them everywhere, but have you ever walked and come across a puddle of lord knows what and as you step you feel the nice damp backsplash of dirty water hitting the backs of your calves and now they are splattered with black guck and possibly hepatitis.

3- Touching the subway, then touching yourself:

No room to sit on the subway (shocker) so you are holding on for dear life, when all of a sudden you have an itch by your eyelid, so you rub your eye WITH THE HAND THAT WAS HOLDING ON TO THE POLE, oh the humanity! But you will probably get pink eye in the next 20 seconds.

4- Kissed a stranger:

It is the end of the night, you have been knocking back whiskey sours (what? That's an acceptable cocktail) and now you are getting kicked out of the bar because they've turned the lights on and you stumble outside and then you see a handsome stranger (probably a 3 on a sober scale) and you decide "I must kiss this man because we will fall in love" so you grossly make out with someone who might have mono and you are only left with their business card.

5- Used a bar bathroom:

But not just any bar bathroom, you know those nights you end up at the dive-y bar on your corner and you've broken the seal since 10:34 pm and now you're beeline-ing to the ladies room and you thrust the stall door open in a frenzy when you discover this bowl is backed up halfway to Chinatown and you consider the men's room but it's too far so you just go for it and add to the stockpile of piss and TP, but since you're a lady you wash your hands on the way out, hygiene rules!

6- Your buttcheeks have touched the subway seat/park bench:

It's summer time and it's hot as Hades in NYC so you're wearing the least amount of clothing possible and you've got your shorts on or perhaps a skirt that you necessarily sit on (cause it's short, natch). You hop on the subway, whammo, you have a seat and you sit down and realize, oh my, the skin of my thighs and butt are touching this seat where, quite possibly, the homeless man with 16 garbage bags just moved out from…this also applies to anywhere you sit in New York.

7- Stepped in poop-

Be it pigeon, cat, dog or the worst, human. Yes there are a million signs to 'curb your dog' but where are the police to enforce that rule because I don't see them chasing down that Doberman after my Old Navy sandal has to be thrown away because it will never smell the same.

8- You've touched something that wasn't yours:

Gum, spit, a booger, who knows WTF! We've all been there, you go to grab a handle and it's wet or you go to pull in your chair and you touch something gooey, and you realize it's either someone's gum or someone's snot. As long as you don't accidentally touch a used condom, you should be safe from contracting any diseases.

9- You throw up:

On yourself, on the street, in the bushes, on your best friend, hey guys, we've all been there, the early happy hour where you haven't eaten and your bartender spikes your margarita then 15 minutes later your puking in the potted trees on 2nd Avenue in front of the cops and it's not even 8pm. The remnants of a night out can always be seen on corners covered with someone's vomit, which is fine, you can quickly avert your eyes and as long as you don't smell it, you're in the clear.

10-Eaten street meat:

I don't know nor do I care where this meat comes from, alls I know is that when it is 4 am and I'm heading home, the best site and smell is Rafiq's street meat cart and it's okay that this food is made in a makeshift cart that gets attached to the back of a truck where exhaust fumes will coat the grill, it all adds to the wonderfully unique flavor of this city.