16 Myths About The Common Core State Standards, Set Straight

For anyone who has heard even a snippet of the raging education debate about the Common Core State Standards, you’ve probably gotten a dose of the mudslinging. If you haven’t, the “CCSS” are a set of benchmarks to ensure that students understand math and English concepts so they can graduate with the skills they need to get a good job and lead a full life. As with any trending topic, though, everyone is weighing in. Thus, a subculture of conspiracy theorists, fear-mongerers, opportunists, and plain old wingnuts are taking to Twitter to express their outrage. Here’s a sampling of some of the nuttiest.

1. MYTH: The Common Core State Standards are a federal takeover of state education rights.

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FACT: Every state gets to choose whether or not to adopt Common Core, and implementation/lesson plans remain with states, districts and teachers, so that's a "no."

2. MYTH: The CCSS are tools of the socialist machine, created to bend the minds of our children.

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FACT: Oddly enough, the only required reading materials in the CCSS are America’s Founding Documents, like the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights.

3. MYTH: The Common Core State Standards make kids pee their pants.

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FACT: We’d be willing to put $10 on your kids not peeing themselves when they take tests under the Common Core. Assuming that peeing your pants isn’t getting cool again...

4. MYTH: Teachers hate the CCSS.

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FACT: Actually, the majority of teachers polled across the country support the CCSS. Here are some testimonials from a few of them (in case you didn’t believe us):

5. MYTH: Mom... the Common Core says we’re all racists...

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FACT: Well, this is a retweet of the Daily Caller, so we're just going to let this one speak for itself. Also, going to go ahead and take a guess that some of these folks could probably benefit from a race sensitivity workshop, but we digress.

6. MYTH: The Common Core is unconstitutional!

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FACT: The Common Core STATE Standards were developed by states in the first place. Local school districts still maintain control over curriculum and instruction. Fear not, patriots.

7. MYTH: Common Core is the brainchild of giant corporations in an effort to privatize and corporatize education.

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FACT: The Common Core standards were developed by state governors and education chiefs, and were written by educators and education experts. They’re supported by the business community because it knows that without them, our workforce will continue to suffer.

8. MYTH: Biometric fascism!

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FACT: It's 2013, not 1984. Schools can hardly pay the bills as it is, so where are we getting the money for these retinal scans, anyway?

9. MYTH: The Common Core standards are a covert plot to data mine our children.

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FACT: As of yet, the NSA hasn’t decided to tap every classroom phone, intercom and projector. We’ll keep you posted, though.

10. MYTH: No! The Common Core has destroyed American Girl dolls, too! Is there anything they won’t ruin?!?!

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FACT: Addy, Julie and Isabelle are safe, don't worry.

11. MYTH: Aaaand it was only a matter of time until we heard this one:

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FACT: Maybe they'll adapt the Common Core for cults, too, but until then, your kids' brains are safe.

12. MYTH: The Common Core will prohibit children from being able to write essays about their feelings.

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FACT: The Common Core doesn’t dictate anything like this. Maybe you’re thinking about how students will need to provide evidence for their reasoning?

13. MYTH: Common Core is too “common” for our students.

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FACT: Ok, Literal Police. If you really need us to explain this, "common" here means students in Tennessee won't have lower learning expectations than students in Massachusetts.

14. MYTH: The Common Core State Standards are too hard for our students.

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FACT: Our kids are smart. Study after study shows students will meet the expectations adults set for them. Low expectations of our students are what positioned us so far behind other countries in the first place.

15. MYTH: The Common Core State Standards are too easy.

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FACT: Wait... didn't we just hear they were too hard? Maybe we're losing it. Thank goodness we’re almost at the end.

16. MYTH: Standards aren’t important because you don’t use anything you learned in school in the real world.

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FACT: If you believe this one, we have a bridge in Brooklyn we can sell you. You’ll easily be able to afford it, too, with all the imaginary money you made from ignoring your education.

Either way, since the Common Core State Standards are widely supported by both the education and business communities, your kids will be glad when they’re able to compete for a job, excel in their chosen field and lead successful lives, thanks to stronger standards and a more engaging, meaningful experience in the classroom. We’ll just call it an “added bonus” that the standards aren’t based in communist doctrine, data mining, racism, atheism, or an attempt to sabotage life as we know it.