7 Flavored Vodkas That Don’t Exist But Should

The trend of flavored vodkas has descended into madness. Let’s help it along, shall we?

1. Sriracha Vodka

At the time of this writing, there is no other food item on the planet with a more rabid fan base than Sriracha. So, it only makes sense that the flavored vodka people find a way to make cock-vodka happen. Pair it with: Anything… Just like actual Sriracha.

2. Corn Dog Vodka

Carnival grub on-the-go gets a much needed upgrade. Deep-fried corn batter with notes of salty tubed meat — now with the bonus sting of 40% alcohol. Pair it with: Ketchup and mustard chasers.

3. Circus Peanut Vodka

We’re not sure what flavor Circus Peanuts are supposed to be, and we don’t care. Make the vodka neon orange with a clown on the bottle, and we’re in. Pair it with: Shame.

4. Ecto Cooler Vodka

The long-lost neon green beverage makes another comeback. And, what better spokesman could there be than an incoherent cockeyed ghost? Pair it with: Caffeinated marshmallows.

5. Nutella Premium Vodka

Nutella should be placed on everything. So, if there’s going to be any new vodkas, Nutella needs to be involved. It might not be the best choice for breakfast, but then again, neither is Nutella. Pair it with: Cereal, eggs, toast, or anything to help remind you that it’s still morning.

6. Sushi Vodka

Raw fish and alcohol go great together. What’s this ‘saki’ you speak of? Well that had a good run, because sushi vodka is inevitable. You can even serve it warm, we don’t care. Pair it with: Shots of soy and miso.

7. Bloody Mary Vodka

Sure, we could buy separate Bloody Mary mix, but that just sounds like a lot of work. Get vodka that’s already flavored like spicy tomato juice. If necessary, throw in a cheeseburger for an extreme version. Pair it with: Celery, a cheeseburger, sriracha vodka.

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