Infertility Explained By 33 Impossibly Adorable Cats

My kingdom for a kitten!

1. You’d give anything for a little one of your own, but for some reason it’s not working out.

2. If you’re married, everyone you invited to your wedding starts asking if you’re “trying” or “want a family.”

3. Eventually, you visit a doctor, she does some tests and it’s official.

4. You obsessively read everything about your diagnosis (or try to figure out what’s wrong if you’re “unexplained”).

5. You thought you needed pills to keep a baby out, not to invite one in. Confuddling!

May cause weight gain, drowsiness and swinging emotions as side effects? Yes please!

6. You never imagined you’d be taking your temperature every morning to figure out your monthly prime time. Meow.

7. You never imagined you’d be scheduling sex.

“It’s cycle day 13. Ready to ravage me?”

8. Or several doctor’s visits every week. For up-the-hoohah ultrasounds of your egg makers.

Quitting your job would be easier for all parties, but there’s the small matter of PAYMENT.

9. You always thought it would just happen. Naturally.

10. Instead, you get lots of unsolicited advice from family. “Just relax, it won’t happen if you’re thinking about it.”

11. “My friend tried reiki//fasting/IUI/IVF/ICSI/onion smoothies and got preggo. You should, too.”

I am seeing multiple specialists, but of course you’re the expert.

12. “Have you tried doing it every other day/upside down/in the morning? That’ll get his swimmers way up there.”

13. When what you most want to hear is, “Thanks for opening up to me about this. How can I support you?”

A hug would be amazing.

14. Meanwhile, you see babies everywhere — airports, gas stations, supermarkets.

15. And Facebook.

Like/Dislike. Happy for you. Sad for me.

16. ‘Cause everyone is suddenly making babies. Impossibly cute babies. So many babies.

What are you, a fertility charm?

17. Everyone but you.

18. You feel like an outsider, peeking at a world you can’t be a part of and primordially yearn for.

19. The TWW (Two Week Wait) is the hard part. That’s when you might be pregnant.

Maybe this month?

20. You were once a rational person. Now you’re all about magical thinking. “Less chocolate, drive at the speed limit, don’t take a pregnancy test today, and it’ll all work out.”

21. You’re still filled with hope every month. Maybe you’ll be snuggling a wee one and singing lullabies in 39 weeks?

Can I has one?

22. You discover the cheapie pregnancy tests online and become a POAS addict. Maybe if you stare at the test long enough the second line will show up.

POAS = Pee On A Stick.

23. But then, another BFN. (Big Fat Negative pregnancy test.)

Excuse me while I sob for a week.

24. Go ahead, console yourself with coffee. You’re not heartbroken. It’s awesome you get to have another Starbucks americano instead of creating new life this month.

I’ll have a cattuccino with an extra shot of silver lining.

25. And alcohol. Gotta stock up for that 9 month break, right?

26. Holiday are bad. Babies everywhere, happy kids getting presents, same old questions from family. And your same old answer.

Dear Santa, please bring me a baby? I promise to be as angelic as I look.

27. But birthdays are the worst.

Feeling. Ovaries. Shrivel.

28. If you decide to adopt, that could add years to the finish line.

29. The pain, planning and uncertainty can bring you a lot closer with your partner.

30. It will definitely make you a lot poorer than parents who conceive naturally. Say goodbye to your future kid’s college fund.

31. All that waiting, hoping, wanting, preparing, dreaming and striving have no guarantees.

32. Maybe your dream will come true. Or maybe you’ll find a new dream.

33. Baby dust and/or serenity to all!

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